Just as the Jog was beginning to assume he was dead Osama bin Laden pops his crazy douchebag head up for all the world to see. Well, sorta. A crazy douchebag website that functions as part of the media arm of the crazy douchebag leader's organization, Al-Qaeda, is reporting that bin Laden will will drop a new video on September 11th. But will we really be seeing new footage? The video stills pre-released by the crazy douchebags show an Osama who looks younger than the last time we saw him back in October 2004. His once gray beard is now black again and he appears to be ten years younger. If it's him and he's alive the Just For Men hair dye people may want to consider signing him up as a spokesperson. The commercials he'd make couldn't be any worse or more embarrassing than the current spots featuring Keith Hernandez and Walt Frazier in that play by play booth. In the new commercial we suggest Osama go around cutting the heads off of guys who have graying hair while Keith and Walt say in unison: Re-Jected! Now that would sell some product.
Bin Laden's continuing presence isn't the only 'war on terror' problem for the Bush administration: Judge Deals Blow to Patriot Act
Another study group has presented another report to congress that once again concludes that America should back off in Iraq. That's a tune this congress likes to dance to but they're not exactly sure how to get it to the dance floor without looking weak.
The Jog is convinced Pakistan is about to go up in flames. In order to forestall the inevitable the on again, off again political romance between military strongman Pervez Musharraf and Benazir Bhutto is apparently on again. But many Bhutto supporters have their panties in a wad about the whole deal- so no one knows if the arrangement would work anyway. How bad could things get over there? Pretty bad.
Surprise, surprise: Tensions Rise Between Syria and Israel
The Jog is willing to bet that 90% of the country is unaware that a state of war still exists between America and N. Korea. It's been a long ceasefire- but that's all its ever been. Now Bush says it's time for peace with some conditions.
Speaking of peace: Darfur Peace Talks Set for Oct. 27 in Libya
The fugitive from justice who was helping Hillary Clinton fund her campaign has been nabbed. His name is Hsu but it's pronounced shoe. Isn't that funny? Hello Mr. Shoe.
Depending on which news report you choose to believe Senator 'I'm not gay' Craig is either really, really retiring- or he's determined to keep fighting.
Fred Thompson's out there and running. Let the letdown begin!
Is every politician in the state of New Jersey corrupt? Almost.
As the waters recede the body count from Hurricane Felix continues to rise.
Crowds larger than Pavarotti gather to say goodbye to Pavarotti. This guy liked him better when he was skinny. The Jog feels the same way about Elvis.
The economy is good! Indexes Edge Up as Retail Sales Surprise
The economy is bad! Foreclosures Climb to New Record High, Again
Rescue teams are still looking for that adventurer millionaire balloon guy who is almost certainly dead.
But maybe there's hope. Rescuers were sure that Ora Doris Anderson was dead. After all, she was 76 and had gone missing in the Oregon wilds two weeks ago. But they just found her alive.
If your kids are hyper-spazzy, A.D.D., never sit still types that drive you and everyone else around you crazy. You might be able to blame the colorful food they're eating.
An Israeli virus may be killing our bees. We don't make this stuff up folks.
Ahh- to be a surfin' hippie. So blissfully unaware of how the world really works: Protesters to be Corralled When Hawaii Ferry Sails Again
Wake up internet libertarians! DoJ Weighs In Against Net Neutrality
Steve Jobs pissed off a lot of customers when he dropped the price of the iPhone by $200 just two months after its debut. Now Steve says he's sorry in a letter written to those customers. And since he's such a good guy he's offering to give each of those customers a $100 voucher to spend at an Apple store of their choice. Excuse our math but isn't that about a hundred dollars short?
Wake up internet libertarians! Facebook Profile Searches: Not Welcome by All Users
Our favorite headline of the day is: Babies Vs. Chimps: Who's Smarter?
Is NASA a broken institution? House Panel Urges NASA for More Open Communication
It's the end of the world as we know it... Scientists Project Huge Loss of Sea Ice
The clock is ticking for legendary music producer Phil Spector. The Jog has always maintained that he never should have killed that girl- that was his big mistake. Even though he did produce Instant Karma, the greatest pop single of all time, the jury will probably still find him guilty.
Whoopi has company: Sherri Shepherd to Join ‘The View’
The man who shot and killed one of Edie Brickell's new bohemians feels very bad about it. But he had no choice. He had to defend himself.
Cops believe that a small bomb recently ignited outside actor Michael Imperioli's studio was intended to send a message to the 'Sopranos' star. They don't know who sent it and they don't know what the message was- but they do know it was sent to him.
Anna Nicole's ex-husband is in jail and causing trouble. The Jog didn't even know she had an ex-husband or that he was in jail. Well, she does and he is- and now he's suing Howard K. Stern for $100 million.
Finally- a reason for grown men to fall in love with High School Musical: "HSM" Nude Pic: It's the Real Deal!
Rapper NAS says he doesn't pay any attention to Bill O'Reilly. But that doesn't keep him from telling MTV that the Fox News star is a racist.
And finally:
The latest dispatch from Britney's last days on earth.
There's plenty more News,
but there's no no more News Jog.
We're done.
Friday, September 7, 2007
Thursday, September 6, 2007
News Jog 9/6/07
Emerging enigma Fred Thompson skipped the NH Republican debate last night. He was busy appearing on Leno where he decided to 'officially' announce that he was running for president. Or, was this the 'official' announcement? Who knows? The Jog suspects Thompson will end up delivering a lot less than promised- but he'll certainly add some technicolor to the process. The man can be downright erratic. Check out this vid from his '94 campaign where he calls his opponent a liar and tells him to shut up twice during a debate. The Jog wouldn't be surprised if this side of his personality flares up and becomes a detriment as he hits the hustings. Fred Thompson is only sale-able as a nice guy. If he gets cranky his support will go straight down the drain.
[BTW- Was that last lady in the '94 vid the actress who ran the store on Northern Exposure?]
Thompson's imminent arrival seemed to wake up the rest of the Republican field. The Fox News NH debate- actually more of an eight way press conference than a debate, played with a loose format that ultimately worked. This year's Republican candidates may look like the cast of a Robert Altman film (one of the good ones, of course) but the Jog was impressed by the level of debate. The second tier- no chance in hell, candidates are all very strong orators and a couple look like genuine statesmen. The surprise story of the Repub debates is Ron Paul from Texas. The most reasoned and persuasive anti-war candidate running this year is not debating Democrats he's debating fellow Republicans in the Republican primary. The Jog disagrees with Paul on the war but his impassioned plea to leave is framed as a policy dispute not a social rift. He tries to persuade rather than preach to the choir- here's a sample. His popularity at these events is being willfully ignored by the media. The Jog believes they could be missing a big story. Ron Paul may be building a new libertarianism within the party simply by proving how popular his ideas can be when given voice at this level.
Remember the Hillary fundraiser found to be a felon running from the law? He's running from the law- again.
Formerly retiring Senator Larry Craig sent out a bunch of signals yesterday that he's gonna un-retire if he can get a few things sorted out. The emphatically ungay senator left a voice message on what he thought was his lawyers system- but it was a wrong number and the message went public. It seems pretty obvious by the content and timing of the message to his lawyer that he never intended to actually retire. That sneaky little... well we knew that.
Update 11:10a.-Ethics Panel Refuses to Dismiss Complaint
Craig didn't have the worst day on Capitol Hill: Ohio Congressman Found Dead in Apartment
The Jog doesn't know much about opera. But they say Luciano Pavarotti was one of the best ever and who are we to doubt it? He's dead now.
As long as we're dwelling on death: Megachurch Leader D. James Kennedy Dies
That adventurer millionaire guy is still lost in the desert.
A general and two officers were sanctioned for their part in the handling of the Haditha massacre investigation. The court looked into claims that several marines went on a rampage, killing innocents after one of their guys was killed in the area. The puppy scene from Apocalypse Now comes to mind.
Here's a shining moment for the Air Force: Air Force Investigates Mistaken Transport of Nuclear Warheads!
Germans are in shock over the scope of terror plots planned by the three jihadists just arrested with an assload of bomb making materiel at their disposal.
President Bush is in Australia where his good friend John Howard may very well lose his Prime Minister post due to his close relationship with his good friend George W. Bush. As is customary in these circumstances the prez sat down with the popular leader of the opposition party since he may have to deal with him as the new Prime Minister soon.
Jerry Lewis apologized to the gays for dropping the F-bomb on his telethon- and in a surprising act of dignity the leaders at GLAAD graciously accepted. It's nice to see a little common sense prevail every now and again.
Whoopi ain't Rosie!
Are your toys killing you? Toxic Barbie Dog, Purse Recalled
Is your popcorn killing you? Popcorn Lung Patient Inhaled Fumes Daily
Are backyard mosquitos killing you? Threat of 'Skeeters' Not Over Yet
There's a promising new drug in the fight against HIV.
God bless the Wiccan that just won the Mega Millions Lottery!
Steve Jobs gave one of those new product demonstration thingies yesterday to announce a new iPod that is exactly like an iPhone except you can't make calls with it. He also pissed off a few people when he announced a huge price cut on the iPhone effective immediately. That's a hell of a reward for standing in line to be a first adopter. Can you say high and dry?
Not to be outdone Microsoft announced a hundred dollar discount on the Zune. Hello? Anyone?
Jobs and Apple may be riding high but NBC is moving its content to Amazon. This writer thinks it's a bad idea for NBC and its customers.
Your Facebook profile is about to go public.
They found the rock that wiped out the dinosaurs!
What a surprise: Roddick Plays Well but Loses to Federer
Shaq is filing for divorce. He says his wife has been 'shady' with his money.
Larry Birkhead appeared on Larry King Live to say he wasn't Howard K. Stern's lover and that he intended to sue Rita Cosby for writing a book that says he was.
Meanwhile: Anna Nicole Smith Psychiatrist Forced to Close Office Amid Financial Woes
The prosecutor in the Phil Spector murder trial launched into his closing argument yesterday and told the jury to follow their hearts.
The Top 10 Weirdest Phil Spector Moments
The Jog likes Busta Rhymes. The Jog doesn't want to believe he's a thug. We'll let the justice system sort it out: Busta Rhymes Trial Postponed Until November
Does the Family TV Hour even exist anymore? Would it be relevant if it did?
Tobey Maguire must like being a dad 'cos he just married mom.
And finally:
Jennifer Lopez's Ex-Husband Ordered to Pay Actress $545,000
There's plenty more News,
but there's no more News Jog.
We're done.
[BTW- Was that last lady in the '94 vid the actress who ran the store on Northern Exposure?]
Thompson's imminent arrival seemed to wake up the rest of the Republican field. The Fox News NH debate- actually more of an eight way press conference than a debate, played with a loose format that ultimately worked. This year's Republican candidates may look like the cast of a Robert Altman film (one of the good ones, of course) but the Jog was impressed by the level of debate. The second tier- no chance in hell, candidates are all very strong orators and a couple look like genuine statesmen. The surprise story of the Repub debates is Ron Paul from Texas. The most reasoned and persuasive anti-war candidate running this year is not debating Democrats he's debating fellow Republicans in the Republican primary. The Jog disagrees with Paul on the war but his impassioned plea to leave is framed as a policy dispute not a social rift. He tries to persuade rather than preach to the choir- here's a sample. His popularity at these events is being willfully ignored by the media. The Jog believes they could be missing a big story. Ron Paul may be building a new libertarianism within the party simply by proving how popular his ideas can be when given voice at this level.
Remember the Hillary fundraiser found to be a felon running from the law? He's running from the law- again.
Formerly retiring Senator Larry Craig sent out a bunch of signals yesterday that he's gonna un-retire if he can get a few things sorted out. The emphatically ungay senator left a voice message on what he thought was his lawyers system- but it was a wrong number and the message went public. It seems pretty obvious by the content and timing of the message to his lawyer that he never intended to actually retire. That sneaky little... well we knew that.
Update 11:10a.-Ethics Panel Refuses to Dismiss Complaint
Craig didn't have the worst day on Capitol Hill: Ohio Congressman Found Dead in Apartment
The Jog doesn't know much about opera. But they say Luciano Pavarotti was one of the best ever and who are we to doubt it? He's dead now.
As long as we're dwelling on death: Megachurch Leader D. James Kennedy Dies
That adventurer millionaire guy is still lost in the desert.
A general and two officers were sanctioned for their part in the handling of the Haditha massacre investigation. The court looked into claims that several marines went on a rampage, killing innocents after one of their guys was killed in the area. The puppy scene from Apocalypse Now comes to mind.
Here's a shining moment for the Air Force: Air Force Investigates Mistaken Transport of Nuclear Warheads!
Germans are in shock over the scope of terror plots planned by the three jihadists just arrested with an assload of bomb making materiel at their disposal.
President Bush is in Australia where his good friend John Howard may very well lose his Prime Minister post due to his close relationship with his good friend George W. Bush. As is customary in these circumstances the prez sat down with the popular leader of the opposition party since he may have to deal with him as the new Prime Minister soon.
Jerry Lewis apologized to the gays for dropping the F-bomb on his telethon- and in a surprising act of dignity the leaders at GLAAD graciously accepted. It's nice to see a little common sense prevail every now and again.
Whoopi ain't Rosie!
Are your toys killing you? Toxic Barbie Dog, Purse Recalled
Is your popcorn killing you? Popcorn Lung Patient Inhaled Fumes Daily
Are backyard mosquitos killing you? Threat of 'Skeeters' Not Over Yet
There's a promising new drug in the fight against HIV.
God bless the Wiccan that just won the Mega Millions Lottery!
Steve Jobs gave one of those new product demonstration thingies yesterday to announce a new iPod that is exactly like an iPhone except you can't make calls with it. He also pissed off a few people when he announced a huge price cut on the iPhone effective immediately. That's a hell of a reward for standing in line to be a first adopter. Can you say high and dry?
Not to be outdone Microsoft announced a hundred dollar discount on the Zune. Hello? Anyone?
Jobs and Apple may be riding high but NBC is moving its content to Amazon. This writer thinks it's a bad idea for NBC and its customers.
Your Facebook profile is about to go public.
They found the rock that wiped out the dinosaurs!
What a surprise: Roddick Plays Well but Loses to Federer
Shaq is filing for divorce. He says his wife has been 'shady' with his money.
Larry Birkhead appeared on Larry King Live to say he wasn't Howard K. Stern's lover and that he intended to sue Rita Cosby for writing a book that says he was.
Meanwhile: Anna Nicole Smith Psychiatrist Forced to Close Office Amid Financial Woes
The prosecutor in the Phil Spector murder trial launched into his closing argument yesterday and told the jury to follow their hearts.
The Top 10 Weirdest Phil Spector Moments
The Jog likes Busta Rhymes. The Jog doesn't want to believe he's a thug. We'll let the justice system sort it out: Busta Rhymes Trial Postponed Until November
Does the Family TV Hour even exist anymore? Would it be relevant if it did?
Tobey Maguire must like being a dad 'cos he just married mom.
And finally:
Jennifer Lopez's Ex-Husband Ordered to Pay Actress $545,000
There's plenty more News,
but there's no more News Jog.
We're done.
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
News Jog 9/5/07
Another day, another terrorist plot foiled: Suspected Terrorists Arrested in Germany
Ah- September... the beginning of the end of baseball season. The beginning of the beginning of football season. And most importantly- It's Iraq Report season kids! Here come the flurry of summaries and communiques from this government agency or that, leading up to General Petraeus issuing his own report to congress in the middle of the month. Every dispatch will claim to be the definitive assessment of how well the 'surge' is or isn't doing- but the Jog suspects it'll all become a big squabbling mess like everything else surrounding the debate of this war. If your looking for letter grades the new report from the Government Accounting Office gives the effort a big, fat F. But stay tuned for wildly differing report cards in the coming weeks. For the Jog's part we'd be interested in hearing more ideas about how we can win. Rather than a catalogue of reasons as to why we have almost certainly lost. But that's us- we're funny like that.
This general says the next few months are crucial in Iraq. Haven't they all been crucial?
A few hearty politicos are seeking a bipartisan approach to the war. Not to be cynical- but good luck.
It's always good to hear about a nest of terrorists getting their asses handed to them. The Lebanese army kicked that ass and returned as heroes. Read deep into the story and you'll find hints of average, man on the street, Palestinians who are cheering on the good work of the Lebanese soldiers as well. The Jog has never believed that terrorists enjoy much real support from the people. But then again the Jog isn't a credentialled journalist. It isn't so easy to pull the wool over our eyes.
Here's a swell idea: Arabic School Opens in New York Amid Controversy
You can all relax. The federal budget now has a new chief.
The problem with being one of these guys who makes his living going on adventures is that sometimes you don't come back. 63 year old Steve Fossett is a rich dude who enjoys breaking aviation records in his spare time. He was the first guy to circumnavigate the world in a balloon- He was the first guy to fly a plane around the globe without refueling- and now he's missing after taking off on a routine flight and disappearing into the desert.
Senator Larry Craig is still not gay, just ask him. But he is still a Senator and some were surprised that he was a no-show when the senate reconvened yesterday. The Jog isn't surprised he didn't make the trip from Boise. After all, he did resign his seat didn't he? Or did he? Craig's children say they confronted him point-blank about the airport incident and came away believing his version of events. Which would be convincing if the next paragraph of the story didn't reveal that all three of his kids were adopted. Not that this story needs anymore red flags but, um... Red Flag.
This writer opines that the recent scandal surrounding the senator may upstage the rest of his 27 year career. Duh- you think so?
This writer defends Larry Craig just a bit and says he was really only guilty of being horny. While Christopher Hitchens over at Slate.com endeavors to explain the allure of quick sex in public bathrooms.
Thankfully all of this sordid behavior by politicians will quickly become a thing of the past: Bush Expected to Sign Ethics Bill Soon
The Repubs are gonna have another one of those debates tonight where lots of average folk get to ask average questions that elicit no more from the candidates than the average questions usually asked by the professional media. TV president Fred Thompson says he is definitely going to run but can't be at tonight's debate due to a scheduled television appearance. Which begs the question- isn't the debate on TV too? The kicker here is that even though Thompson can't be bothered to stand next to his rivals and debate- he will be running his first campaign ad during the debate! Typical. The Jog is going to enjoy watching this arrogant candidacy quickly implode.
If you're a Republican or a Democrat who lives in Florida or Michigan- you're primary vote is being flushed down the toilet.
Dreams really do come true: Good Morning America Launches Third Hour!
Jerry Lewis is now apologizing for saying the gay F-word during an improvised, age-addled comedy rant in the 18th hour of his Labor Day Telethon over the weekend. The Jog has really had enough of the attitude adopted by the gay activists in this story. As usual they are demanding an audience with Jerry to explain to him how much his words can hurt and blah, blah, blah. Leave him alone! He's Jerry Lewis- and he's 81- and he just raised $64 million dollars to help kids in wheelchairs. The Jog hates activists- they're all the same. It's always about them and their needs. How about a tired old man who needs a pass? Have some dignity. If you want to bust performers for saying Fag during a comedy routine start with every drag show in America and slowly make your way to Jerry Lewis. Jeez...
Update 9:55a.- GLAAD Accepts Jerry's Mea Culpa
Hurricane Update: Felix Marks Record Year for Category 5 Hurricane Landfalls
West Nile Update: Virus Cases Soar on Prairies
Check it out fat people: Skinny Gene Could Become Weapon in Fight Against Obesity
Whoopi says she's not going to mimic Rosie's style on The View- but she did
defend Michael Vick during her first go-round as an official member of Barbara's Vagina Squad, so it might not get too boring. This writer likes the new View.
Cancel Christmas! Mattel recalls 800,000 toys worldwide
Look out kids- AT&T is trying to help your parents control your cell phone.
iPhone Mania Continues: Report: iPhone Outsold All Smartphones in July
Apple Mania Continues: IPod Expectations, iPhone Estimates Lift Apple's Stock
Now comes word that Microsoft may look to compete with the iPhone. Hello- does anyone remember the Zune? Just steer clear Mr. Gates.
But hey, what about the the Google phone?
Life Imitates Art? Explosion Outside Sopranos Star's Studio
Catwoman is preggers.
CBS is gearing up for the debut of Kid Nation- a show where children are left on their own to fend for themselves for a few weeks in a ghost town. The pre-debut publicity has been pretty bad for CBS with complaints from some parents about the way their kids were treated and an investigation by the state of New Mexico to see if any child labor laws were broken. But publicity is publicity, good or bad, and CBS anticipates high viewership once the thing gets on the air. The Jog suspects they're right but we also think the Tiffany network may have squeezed itself between a rock and a hard place. The reason for the outrage and investigations is that CBS was doing what networks always do- over hype their new shows. Because children were involved with the hype machine this time around they got in trouble for leading people to believe the set was way more dangerous than it actually was in an effort to scare up viewers. Now that they've been forced to admit there were a bevy of child psychologists and other amenities for the kids just out of camera shot they risk making the show seem too tame. Look for the execs to go back to emphasizing the danger once again as we creep closer to the premier.
Jude Law is not a fan of the paparazzi: Jude Law-Breaker? Actor Arrested for Alleged Attack
Apparently Brad Pitt was pretty shaken up by his recent encounter with an overzealous fan.
Nicole Kidman is coming clean about lost babies and broken marriage engagements in the past. Who asked?
Bo Diddley, Diddley... is out of the hospital, hospital... Bomp-A-Bomp-Bomp!
Senator Craig's no longer alone. Now Larry Birkhead, father of Anna Nicole's baby, is going on the record to say he isn't gay, and he didn't have sex with Howard Stern, Anna Nicole's lawyer/mentor. And he also says he'll sue the author of the book that says he is gay and did have sex with Stern.
R. Kelly was charged with soliciting sex with a minor and photographing the tryst some five years ago. Meanwhile his career has been flying high and it doesn't look like he'll be in a courtroom to defend himself anytime soon- Illinois Judge Delays R. Kelly's Kiddie Porn Trial Once More
And finally:
Billy Joel's Wife Rejected From P. Diddy's Party for Wearing Off-White
There's plenty more News,
but there's no more News Jog.
We're done.
Ah- September... the beginning of the end of baseball season. The beginning of the beginning of football season. And most importantly- It's Iraq Report season kids! Here come the flurry of summaries and communiques from this government agency or that, leading up to General Petraeus issuing his own report to congress in the middle of the month. Every dispatch will claim to be the definitive assessment of how well the 'surge' is or isn't doing- but the Jog suspects it'll all become a big squabbling mess like everything else surrounding the debate of this war. If your looking for letter grades the new report from the Government Accounting Office gives the effort a big, fat F. But stay tuned for wildly differing report cards in the coming weeks. For the Jog's part we'd be interested in hearing more ideas about how we can win. Rather than a catalogue of reasons as to why we have almost certainly lost. But that's us- we're funny like that.
This general says the next few months are crucial in Iraq. Haven't they all been crucial?
A few hearty politicos are seeking a bipartisan approach to the war. Not to be cynical- but good luck.
It's always good to hear about a nest of terrorists getting their asses handed to them. The Lebanese army kicked that ass and returned as heroes. Read deep into the story and you'll find hints of average, man on the street, Palestinians who are cheering on the good work of the Lebanese soldiers as well. The Jog has never believed that terrorists enjoy much real support from the people. But then again the Jog isn't a credentialled journalist. It isn't so easy to pull the wool over our eyes.
Here's a swell idea: Arabic School Opens in New York Amid Controversy
You can all relax. The federal budget now has a new chief.
The problem with being one of these guys who makes his living going on adventures is that sometimes you don't come back. 63 year old Steve Fossett is a rich dude who enjoys breaking aviation records in his spare time. He was the first guy to circumnavigate the world in a balloon- He was the first guy to fly a plane around the globe without refueling- and now he's missing after taking off on a routine flight and disappearing into the desert.
Senator Larry Craig is still not gay, just ask him. But he is still a Senator and some were surprised that he was a no-show when the senate reconvened yesterday. The Jog isn't surprised he didn't make the trip from Boise. After all, he did resign his seat didn't he? Or did he? Craig's children say they confronted him point-blank about the airport incident and came away believing his version of events. Which would be convincing if the next paragraph of the story didn't reveal that all three of his kids were adopted. Not that this story needs anymore red flags but, um... Red Flag.
This writer opines that the recent scandal surrounding the senator may upstage the rest of his 27 year career. Duh- you think so?
This writer defends Larry Craig just a bit and says he was really only guilty of being horny. While Christopher Hitchens over at Slate.com endeavors to explain the allure of quick sex in public bathrooms.
Thankfully all of this sordid behavior by politicians will quickly become a thing of the past: Bush Expected to Sign Ethics Bill Soon
The Repubs are gonna have another one of those debates tonight where lots of average folk get to ask average questions that elicit no more from the candidates than the average questions usually asked by the professional media. TV president Fred Thompson says he is definitely going to run but can't be at tonight's debate due to a scheduled television appearance. Which begs the question- isn't the debate on TV too? The kicker here is that even though Thompson can't be bothered to stand next to his rivals and debate- he will be running his first campaign ad during the debate! Typical. The Jog is going to enjoy watching this arrogant candidacy quickly implode.
If you're a Republican or a Democrat who lives in Florida or Michigan- you're primary vote is being flushed down the toilet.
Dreams really do come true: Good Morning America Launches Third Hour!
Jerry Lewis is now apologizing for saying the gay F-word during an improvised, age-addled comedy rant in the 18th hour of his Labor Day Telethon over the weekend. The Jog has really had enough of the attitude adopted by the gay activists in this story. As usual they are demanding an audience with Jerry to explain to him how much his words can hurt and blah, blah, blah. Leave him alone! He's Jerry Lewis- and he's 81- and he just raised $64 million dollars to help kids in wheelchairs. The Jog hates activists- they're all the same. It's always about them and their needs. How about a tired old man who needs a pass? Have some dignity. If you want to bust performers for saying Fag during a comedy routine start with every drag show in America and slowly make your way to Jerry Lewis. Jeez...
Update 9:55a.- GLAAD Accepts Jerry's Mea Culpa
Hurricane Update: Felix Marks Record Year for Category 5 Hurricane Landfalls
West Nile Update: Virus Cases Soar on Prairies
Check it out fat people: Skinny Gene Could Become Weapon in Fight Against Obesity
Whoopi says she's not going to mimic Rosie's style on The View- but she did
defend Michael Vick during her first go-round as an official member of Barbara's Vagina Squad, so it might not get too boring. This writer likes the new View.
Cancel Christmas! Mattel recalls 800,000 toys worldwide
Look out kids- AT&T is trying to help your parents control your cell phone.
iPhone Mania Continues: Report: iPhone Outsold All Smartphones in July
Apple Mania Continues: IPod Expectations, iPhone Estimates Lift Apple's Stock
Now comes word that Microsoft may look to compete with the iPhone. Hello- does anyone remember the Zune? Just steer clear Mr. Gates.
But hey, what about the the Google phone?
Life Imitates Art? Explosion Outside Sopranos Star's Studio
Catwoman is preggers.
CBS is gearing up for the debut of Kid Nation- a show where children are left on their own to fend for themselves for a few weeks in a ghost town. The pre-debut publicity has been pretty bad for CBS with complaints from some parents about the way their kids were treated and an investigation by the state of New Mexico to see if any child labor laws were broken. But publicity is publicity, good or bad, and CBS anticipates high viewership once the thing gets on the air. The Jog suspects they're right but we also think the Tiffany network may have squeezed itself between a rock and a hard place. The reason for the outrage and investigations is that CBS was doing what networks always do- over hype their new shows. Because children were involved with the hype machine this time around they got in trouble for leading people to believe the set was way more dangerous than it actually was in an effort to scare up viewers. Now that they've been forced to admit there were a bevy of child psychologists and other amenities for the kids just out of camera shot they risk making the show seem too tame. Look for the execs to go back to emphasizing the danger once again as we creep closer to the premier.
Jude Law is not a fan of the paparazzi: Jude Law-Breaker? Actor Arrested for Alleged Attack
Apparently Brad Pitt was pretty shaken up by his recent encounter with an overzealous fan.
Nicole Kidman is coming clean about lost babies and broken marriage engagements in the past. Who asked?
Bo Diddley, Diddley... is out of the hospital, hospital... Bomp-A-Bomp-Bomp!
Senator Craig's no longer alone. Now Larry Birkhead, father of Anna Nicole's baby, is going on the record to say he isn't gay, and he didn't have sex with Howard Stern, Anna Nicole's lawyer/mentor. And he also says he'll sue the author of the book that says he is gay and did have sex with Stern.
R. Kelly was charged with soliciting sex with a minor and photographing the tryst some five years ago. Meanwhile his career has been flying high and it doesn't look like he'll be in a courtroom to defend himself anytime soon- Illinois Judge Delays R. Kelly's Kiddie Porn Trial Once More
And finally:
Billy Joel's Wife Rejected From P. Diddy's Party for Wearing Off-White
There's plenty more News,
but there's no more News Jog.
We're done.
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
News Jog 9/4/07
The Jog spent its labor day weekend vacationing in South Carolina. When it passed a sign for something called Lake Secession while steering the mini-van through winding back roads- the Jog recognized it had traveled a hundred miles north to find the ‘deep’ south. But the echo of war was faint, the sun was high, and a grand time had by all strapped into the Magic Sienna. Much news happened while we were away- here's a quick rundown.
Jerry Lewis raised almost $64 million for his 'kids' over the weekend. This ungrateful former poster child says thanks, but no thanks. The question isn't whether the MDA Telethon does good work- of course it does. The real question is did Jerry say the gay F-word?
Update 11:55a.-Consensus Building: He Said It!
Senator Larry ‘I’m not gay just because I have a wide stance’ Craig didn’t cop to actually being gay (that’ll come later), but he did announce his near-immediate resignation from the senate. The Jog is always amazed with how un-embarrassed these politicians can be when they find themselves in such scandalous positions. It reminds us of the compart-mental abilities of everyone's favorite scandal machine. Speaking of Bill Clinton- here’s video of Senator Foot-Bump calling Clinton a ‘nasty’ man back in 1999 at the height of the Lewinsky affair. And for those Jog-anistas who have been craving an animated account of what went down in that airport bathroom- well okay, here ya go.
President Bush and entourage traveled thousands upon thousands of miles under the cover of night to make one of those surprise visits to Iraq he's so famous for- but they didn't travel far enough. He still had to face Katie Couric once he got there. He also gave a pep talk of sorts to the locals.
Meanwhile the British appear to be in the process of tapping out of Iraq.
Isn't it sweet? The U.S. and North Korea are playing kissy-face.
Pakistan is becoming more unstable by the minute: Suicide Bombs Kill Scores in Pakistan
Here's a surprise in the news. Hamas is messing with Israel- and Israel is threatening to retaliate. Ah- the Holy Land. So predictable. So, you know- Holy.
The U.N. is mad at Sudan. I'll bet they're quaking in their murderous boots. After all, if they don't listen and stop their naughty genocide- the U.N. will cite them in a report. No government wants to face that kind of draconian punishment.
YouTube has given into pressure from the government of Thailand to stop hosting videos making fun of their King. The pro quo granted for prone acquiescence to censorship is a doozy for the Uber-Mega-Category Killing video sharing site. Thailand has lifted its ban on You Tube.
YouTube Reminder: If you post a video of yourself committing illegal acts you just might get yourself arrested.
As an election year nears- Bush is talking climate change.
Al Gore's just sure it's 'cos of, you know... Hurricane Felix is a Bad Mutha!
Update 12:50p.- Strengthened Hurricane Felix Strikes Central America
Here's the latest brief from the case of The U.S. Navy vs. Shamu.
The NRA says the Virginia Tech murder panel that just reported its findings is unfairly promoting an anti-gun agenda.
There's a new breakthrough drug for schizophrenia.
In a related story: Rapid Rise in Bipolar Diagnoses Among U.S. Youth
If you've ever wondered why tall people are tall- today's your lucky day: Scientists Discover 'Tall' Gene
We know Brad Pitt loves to be loved- but he probably doesn't love to loved this much: Crazy Fan Attacks Brad in Italy!
Owen Wilson's friends say Owen Wilson is 'doing very well.' The Jog thinks they mean to say he is doing about as well as a drug-addled comic genius can be expected to be doing just a few days after slashing his wrists. It's kinda one of those relativity things.
Owen may be good but this review of his new movie is bad.
Rob Zombie's remake of 'Halloween' was the #1 Movie of the holiday weekend.
Will the Russians beat us to Mars?
It looks like it really happened this time- the iPhone hack you'll actually use has arrived. This writer says the iPhone/AT&T deal is toast.
Tired of all the iPhone stories? This oughta cheer ya up: Apple May Introduce New iPod on Wednesday
Go ahead and purchase that new iPod but be warned- you may not be able to buy NBC shows on iTunes anymore.
According to this story PlayStation3 sales are catching up to those of the Nintendo Wii. But if you read closely it becomes obvious that they're really not. So what's the point of the story? We have no idea.
What's the point of the HD DVD platform war? We don't know that either- but here's the latest.
By the way: Stealing mannequins is still against the law!
The U.S. is still kicking the world's ass in basketball.
Looks like Burning Man is Burnt Out.
Did you see that big-ass spider web in Texas? No? Don't worry- here it is.
One of Edie Brickell's new bohemians beat up his girlfriend before being shot and killed by a neighbor. "What I am is what I am, Bitch!"
This guy stole funeral flowers out of a moving hearse.
They did a study and found that rock stars die young. Hey, it may sound counterintuitive- but they're the scientists, they should know.
The cute little blond baby boy that showed up on the last few seasons of the NBC show 'Family Ties' beat up his girlfriend and got in big trouble. "There ain't no nothing we can't help each other through, Bitch!" Sha-la-la-la
Our favorite headline of the day is: Anna's Men 'Were Gay Lovers'
And finally:
The latest dispatch from Britney's last days on earth.
There's plenty more News,
but there's no more News Jog.
We're done.
Jerry Lewis raised almost $64 million for his 'kids' over the weekend. This ungrateful former poster child says thanks, but no thanks. The question isn't whether the MDA Telethon does good work- of course it does. The real question is did Jerry say the gay F-word?
Update 11:55a.-Consensus Building: He Said It!
Senator Larry ‘I’m not gay just because I have a wide stance’ Craig didn’t cop to actually being gay (that’ll come later), but he did announce his near-immediate resignation from the senate. The Jog is always amazed with how un-embarrassed these politicians can be when they find themselves in such scandalous positions. It reminds us of the compart-mental abilities of everyone's favorite scandal machine. Speaking of Bill Clinton- here’s video of Senator Foot-Bump calling Clinton a ‘nasty’ man back in 1999 at the height of the Lewinsky affair. And for those Jog-anistas who have been craving an animated account of what went down in that airport bathroom- well okay, here ya go.
President Bush and entourage traveled thousands upon thousands of miles under the cover of night to make one of those surprise visits to Iraq he's so famous for- but they didn't travel far enough. He still had to face Katie Couric once he got there. He also gave a pep talk of sorts to the locals.
Meanwhile the British appear to be in the process of tapping out of Iraq.
Isn't it sweet? The U.S. and North Korea are playing kissy-face.
Pakistan is becoming more unstable by the minute: Suicide Bombs Kill Scores in Pakistan
Here's a surprise in the news. Hamas is messing with Israel- and Israel is threatening to retaliate. Ah- the Holy Land. So predictable. So, you know- Holy.
The U.N. is mad at Sudan. I'll bet they're quaking in their murderous boots. After all, if they don't listen and stop their naughty genocide- the U.N. will cite them in a report. No government wants to face that kind of draconian punishment.
YouTube has given into pressure from the government of Thailand to stop hosting videos making fun of their King. The pro quo granted for prone acquiescence to censorship is a doozy for the Uber-Mega-Category Killing video sharing site. Thailand has lifted its ban on You Tube.
YouTube Reminder: If you post a video of yourself committing illegal acts you just might get yourself arrested.
As an election year nears- Bush is talking climate change.
Al Gore's just sure it's 'cos of, you know... Hurricane Felix is a Bad Mutha!
Update 12:50p.- Strengthened Hurricane Felix Strikes Central America
Here's the latest brief from the case of The U.S. Navy vs. Shamu.
The NRA says the Virginia Tech murder panel that just reported its findings is unfairly promoting an anti-gun agenda.
There's a new breakthrough drug for schizophrenia.
In a related story: Rapid Rise in Bipolar Diagnoses Among U.S. Youth
If you've ever wondered why tall people are tall- today's your lucky day: Scientists Discover 'Tall' Gene
We know Brad Pitt loves to be loved- but he probably doesn't love to loved this much: Crazy Fan Attacks Brad in Italy!
Owen Wilson's friends say Owen Wilson is 'doing very well.' The Jog thinks they mean to say he is doing about as well as a drug-addled comic genius can be expected to be doing just a few days after slashing his wrists. It's kinda one of those relativity things.
Owen may be good but this review of his new movie is bad.
Rob Zombie's remake of 'Halloween' was the #1 Movie of the holiday weekend.
Will the Russians beat us to Mars?
It looks like it really happened this time- the iPhone hack you'll actually use has arrived. This writer says the iPhone/AT&T deal is toast.
Tired of all the iPhone stories? This oughta cheer ya up: Apple May Introduce New iPod on Wednesday
Go ahead and purchase that new iPod but be warned- you may not be able to buy NBC shows on iTunes anymore.
According to this story PlayStation3 sales are catching up to those of the Nintendo Wii. But if you read closely it becomes obvious that they're really not. So what's the point of the story? We have no idea.
What's the point of the HD DVD platform war? We don't know that either- but here's the latest.
By the way: Stealing mannequins is still against the law!
The U.S. is still kicking the world's ass in basketball.
Looks like Burning Man is Burnt Out.
Did you see that big-ass spider web in Texas? No? Don't worry- here it is.
One of Edie Brickell's new bohemians beat up his girlfriend before being shot and killed by a neighbor. "What I am is what I am, Bitch!"
This guy stole funeral flowers out of a moving hearse.
They did a study and found that rock stars die young. Hey, it may sound counterintuitive- but they're the scientists, they should know.
The cute little blond baby boy that showed up on the last few seasons of the NBC show 'Family Ties' beat up his girlfriend and got in big trouble. "There ain't no nothing we can't help each other through, Bitch!" Sha-la-la-la
Our favorite headline of the day is: Anna's Men 'Were Gay Lovers'
And finally:
The latest dispatch from Britney's last days on earth.
There's plenty more News,
but there's no more News Jog.
We're done.
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