The Jog is happy to report that it has a mortgage that gets paid on time every month. The Jog is also happy to report that, in fact, most homeowners in this country do exactly the same. The Jog is unhappy to report that the few who don't, and the lending institutions that allowed them into the game have so distorted the market that a government bailout has become inevitable. With the Fed Chairman now in a position that demands he 'fix' every correction the market makes on its own- the whole thing has become something akin to a dog chasing its own tail. Every time the business class makes idiotic mistakes the Fed adjusts this or that to make it all go away- which in turn makes it more likely that the same folks will make idiotic choices again in the future knowing that the Fed will step in again if anyone starts losing too much money. The reason this country is in the mortgage crisis it's in right now is because lenders changed the rules for lending and began handing hefty mortgages to individuals who had not demonstrated a history of personal economic competence. The lenders didn't care because the whole system had been turned into a Ponzi scheme that kept running well so long as new money and multi-year commitments kept pouring in. Now the Ponzi scheme has crashed, as they all eventually do, except this scheme of bad money was held afloat by good money and good investments that are now in danger of being brought down as well. Because many in this new class of house-poor are default Democrats- and because the Republicans want to be loved in Nov. '08 President Bush will announce a sub-prime solution today that will prop up the homeowners that can no longer afford their homes with government subsidies, etc. So what lesson is learned by the predatory lenders and the ignorant homeowners? Do it again if you get the chance. After all, the government will be there to bail you out if things get too uncomfortable. The Jog believes any actions should be designed to protect the good money and good investments that are being threatened by the breadth of this problem- and let the bad money flush out of the system. If you're allowed to continually play with fire and you don't get burnt- you'll continue to play with fire. It's that simple.
After antsy Republicans began showing annoyance at his months-long Hamlet act Fred Thompson's people say Fred Thompson is done with the tease and is running for President. The Jog sees Thompson as a good actor who would make a bad president. His record in the Senate says he's all talk with no follow through. The man has absolutely nothing to show for his time in the Senate. The Jog also thinks he's exactly the type of Republican that can be beaten by Hillary Clinton.
Virginia Senator John Warner is well-respected, he's had sex with Elizabeth Taylor, and he's 80. The Republicans would like him to run for another six year term so they can lock down his seat as they search for a majority in the next election. He's been ambivalent about another run and will hold a press conference today to announce whether he will or won't seek another term.
Update 5:16pm: Veteran Republican to Stand Down
Iowa Senator Larry Craig is losing everyone's respect, he has sex with strange men in bathrooms, and he wants you to know he isn't gay. The Republicans would like to see him step down immediately. Craig says he wants to fight the scurrilous accusation against him even though he's already pleaded guilty to the accusation itself. Now the police have released an audio tape of Senator 'Wide Stance' being interrogated just after being busted for engaging in lewd acts in an airport bathroom- wherein he sounds just like a man trying to lie himself out of an embarrassing situation. All of his Senate colleagues want Craig to step down but this writer says he should fight, if only to provide more entertainment for us when it goes to court. The Jog was surprised to find that there is much disagreement in the editorial rooms of the mainstream gay press. This gay writer thinks it's kinda sad. This gay writer thinks the senator is beneath contempt. The Jog suspects that both are right.
Update 9:58am: GOP Activists Say Craig May Resign
The Bush administration may not have been able to find WMD's in Iraq- but some were found yesterday at the U.N. causing a major scare in NYC. Ah- the U.N., always so efficient... always so reliable.
The GAO is putting out a report on progress in Iraq that isn't sitting well with the Bush administration or the brass at the Pentagon.
Katie Couric is in Iraq looking for answers and ratings. The Jog's assuming she'll find neither. The Jog looks up to Katie as a role model. We'd like to make several million dollars to fail night after night after night. We're doing that right now for free.
The Taliban has finally freed the remaining living South Korean hostages and just as the Jog predicted leaders of the outlaw group are promising to take more hostages in the future. Why? They took hostages and they got what they wanted. Just as we pointed out earlier in the sub prime story- if you reward bad behavior, you get more bad behavior.
Need an example? Taliban Insurgents Ambush Pakistan Military Convoy
That deal between Pakistani strongman Pervez Musharaff and Prime Minister wannabe Benazir Bhutto is on the rocks: Musharraf Hedges on His Military Post
The failure of a pact between Musharaff and Bhutto is opening the way for the return of the guy Musharaff overthrew in a bloodless coup a few years back: Nawaz Sharif's star rises
Surprise, surprise- Iran is still lying about its nuclear program.
Princess Di died ten years ago today. And to the Jog's amazement lots of people still care about that.
If Alberto Gonzalez thought retiring and going back to Texas was enough to get him off the hook. He needs to think again: DOJ Investigating Gonzales Testimony
Speaking of Texas- this almost never happens: Texas Governor Commutes Death Sentence in Rare Act
Democrats are falling all over themselves to give up all campaign contributions raised by that guy who turned out to be a fugitive. The Jog mentioned Ponzi schemes earlier but we love the fact that the fugitive in question, Norman Hsu, was busted for a Ponzi scheme that involved the reselling of latex gloves. It just sounds funny.
The Jog has maintained for some time that the illegal immigration problem could be solved overnight if the government started busting business owners who knowingly employ them. If you put four or five millionaires behind bars you wouldn't need a fence or new legislation to get the job done. Sure- a head of lettuce might wind up costing ten dollars- but if you want to solve illegal immigration it's easily solvable: Raid Rounds Up Immigrants at Chicken plant
If you live in California get ready for the coming brown and blackouts: California Declares 'Stage 1' Power Emergency
Do you like your spinach E.coli free? Sure you do.
Surprised that real estate mogul Leona Helmsley left $12 million to her stupid lapdog? Apparently it's not so surprising: More People Leaving Money to Their Pets
That astronaut lady with the diapers and the pepper spray and the 80's hair has been allowed to remove her GPS ankle bracelet.
West Nile Virus Update: Pelicans are Dying!
If you've given your personal info to USAJobs.gov, the official job search site for the federal government, that info may have been compromised.
Earthlink thought they could avoid going broke by providing the wherewithal for large cities to provide their residents with free access to Wi-Fi. Well, it turns out there still is no such thing as a free lunch and the whole scheme is collapsing. Look for Earthlink to be out of business soon.
This sportswriter says Mike Vick will and should play in the NFL again.
The U.S. is still kicking the world's ass in basketball.
It looks like NASCAR bad boy Tony Stewart will be driving a Toyota next year.
Hulk Hogan's idiot son boasted about speeding in a magazine interview not long before his recent car crash. Friends and family of the friend he critically injured in that crash held a vigil for him last night. The Jog wants to know if all this drama is being caught on tape for that stupid Ozzy wannabe reality show the Hogan family stars in? We're guessing this is way to real for 'reality' TV.
Hey kids, cheer up: 'Family Guy' Coming Soon to an Xbox Near You
If you were silly enough to download tunes from Sony's Connect music store you're probably screwed.
Hurray! Teens can now add copyrighted music to the short videos they make of themselves slapping each other silly and engaging in other mindless 'Jackjass' style pranks: YouTube to Pay Royalties to Songwriters
This writer doubts whether the iPhone has really been unlocked.
How unpopular is the PlayStation 3? So unpopular that Sony is releasing a new PS2 this Christmas.
The coolest thing in the universe today: Mysterious Solar Ripples Detected
The coolest thing in the teeny-weeny parts of the universe today: Two IBM Discoveries Add Promise for Nano-Computing
The Jog thought the whole Letterman-Oprah feud had long since been put to bed. But apparently not: Dave and Oprah Keep Up Appearances
What band is playing at your homecoming? Indiana University snagged Bob Dylan & Elvis Costello.
Amy Winehouse continues her public withdrawal while she continues to go through drug withdrawal.
Owen Wilson's friends are saying a recent major spike in his drug use led to his suicide attempt. You know things are hardcore when Woody Harrelson tries to intervene.
The Jog is one of the only entities left that understands that the whole Global Warming scare is a pile of B.S. So it warms the cockles of our hearts to see that Leo DiCaprio's new 'sky is falling' film "11th Hour" is getting bad reviews from people who want to like it. Even one of the founders of Greenpeace says it's crap.
Rob Zombie's dribbling out some info about his remake of the classic horror film "Halloween".
It turns out that Barnes & Noble will sell the new O.J. book after all. Blood money is still money- and it's hard to resist.
For those interested in these things- Scary Spice will be competing on the next season of 'Dancing with the Stars.'
And finally:
The latest dispatch from Britney's last days on earth: Britney - I'm Gonna Shock the World, Y'all!
There's plenty more News,
but no more News Jog.
We're done, Y'all!
Friday, August 31, 2007
Thursday, August 30, 2007
News Jog 8/30/07
The Jog spent most of yesterday trying to avoid the non-stop news coverage concerning the second anniversary of Hurricane Katrina. While we feel for the lost and displaced we're just sick and tired of being told that it was somehow our fault- That America was to blame and that the storm revealed something important about the racial divide in this country. It didn't. It was simply a major natural disaster that struck a city that was already a basket case before the first raindrops fell. What is never reported is that President Bush appeared on television the day before Katrina hit landfall and warned the city that a major weather event was on hand and that everyone needed to follow the advice of local authorities and get out. We wish would could have dug that video up on You Tube but it was nowhere to be found. That's okay- we saw it when it happened. Instead the coverage is nearly always slanted as something akin to a racist nation leaving its least desired to the ravages of the wind and the rain. There's not much coverage of the widely held conspiracy theories bandied about by residents mired in ignorance- or the fact that New Orleans had become a criminal's paradise in the years leading up to the breaking of the levees. The Jog still maintains that 90% of the responsibility for the storms aftermath lay with local, elected officials. Besides, why are we so fixated on anniversaries? Is it really news that the earth has circled the sun twice since Hurricane Katrina smacked up K-Town?
While we're on the subject of race- Richard Jewell, a man who became a suspect in the Atlanta Olympic bombing because he was white, single, and lived with his mom, died yesterday of diabetes related causes.
Senator Larry 'I'm not gay, never have been gay, never would be gay' Craig is taking some heavy artillery from his Republican colleagues. He has already been stripped of his committee assignments though he still maintains he will run again. Senator 'Wide Stance' doesn't seem to understand he doesn't stand a chance of ever being elected again. It's not the crime of toilet cruising that will keep him out of office but the contradictory nature of the crime to his stated beliefs and voting record- It ain't the heat, it's the hypocrisy.
One of Hillary Clinton's top fundraisers turns out to be a fugitive on the lam. When the story first broke Hil's camp said they were sticking by their friend and saw no need to return the money- but a few hours later they reversed course and announced that it would all be donated to charity. Aww... isn't that sweet? The Jog always knew she cared about the little people.
Chubby anti-American weird beard Muqtada al-Sadr has ordered his Mahdi army to stop killing innocents for six months while he re-tools their mission. The Jog isn't a fan of this power hungry tub of lard but reading between the lines we see a bit of daylight. It may be that these Shia are getting just as disenchanted with Iran as their rival Sunni sects have become with Al-Qaeda. The Sunni clerics turned to the US after rejecting Osama. Perhaps the Shia clerics will make the same choice after rejecting Mahmoud. It's a wish on a star- but a Jog can dream.
The Taliban are still releasing South Korean hostages.
Former foes Benazir Bhutto and Pervez Musharraf are looking to become Pakistan's new power couple.
Is America running out of gasoline?
Could Virginia Tech have saved more lives?
Is your spinach going to kill you?
Billionaire hotel mogul Leona Helmsley was hated by everyone that new her- and apparently she hated them all back because she left very little in her will for specific people in her life but left $12 million to her stupid little lapdog. For what it's worth, her former housekeeper says the dog was meaner than Leona. The Jog didn't like Leona and the Jog doesn't like lapdogs. But the Jog does like funny- And leaving 12 million bucks to a dog that's near death itself is funny. Everyone dreams about having F-U money. This lady just showed us what you can do with it. Go girl!
The morons in England are still wacky for Diana. We're approaching the tenth anniversary of her death and the Brits have their bollocks all in a wad over it. Again the Jog must beg the question- Is it really news that the earth has circumnavigated the sun ten times since her chauffeur slammed his foot on the gas pedal? Or the petrol pedal... or whatever they call it over there.
It appears that reports of Owen Wilson swallowing a bunch of pills before slitting his wrists are untrue. He did slit his wrists. He just didn't down the pills. His brother Luke, who found him and called 911, broke down while answering a few questions about Owen's future. To get an idea of just how brilliant these two can be- the Jog recommends their first movie together "Bottle Rocket". Owen co-wrote it with Wes Anderson and it still stands out as one of the best buddy films ever. There is also a decent sized role played by Andrew, the rarely seen third Wilson brother. Great, great movie.
Meanwhile, Courtney Love is blaming her ex-boyfriend for Owen's current predicament.
Speaking of drugs and lives out of control- Sheriff Joe says drugs were found in rapper/actor/criminal DMX's home... right next to the dehydrated pit bulls we presume.
That hottie who had Patriots quarterback Tom Brady's baby has given the spawn her own last name and signaled that she wants the three time Super Bowl champ to stay away.
If you were silly enough to buy the first release of Microsoft's Vista- an update is on the way.
Would you like to drive an iPod? You may be able to someday soon: Apple Rumored to be in Talks with Volkswagen Over "iCar"
Is it against the law to unlock an iPhone?
What if that iPhone is unlocked in Lithuania?
Will Google soon market their own cell phone? Speculation builds about the gPhone
NASA says those claims about astronauts drinking before flights are unfounded. They do however concede that alcohol is available in the pre-flight green room. The Jog would certainly imbibe before strapping itself to the top of a huge bomb- but we're not professionals. Our favorite astronaut headline of the day is: Love Triangle Kidnap Pampernaut Preps Wingnut Defence
The coolest thing happening in the universe today is: Astronomers Get First Look at Protoplanetary "Rainfall"
The US is kicking the world's ass in basketball.
A music industry legend, Hilly Kristal, founder of CBGB's has passed away.
And finally:
The latest dispatch from Britney's last days on earth.
There's plenty more News,
but no more News Jog.
We're done.
While we're on the subject of race- Richard Jewell, a man who became a suspect in the Atlanta Olympic bombing because he was white, single, and lived with his mom, died yesterday of diabetes related causes.
Senator Larry 'I'm not gay, never have been gay, never would be gay' Craig is taking some heavy artillery from his Republican colleagues. He has already been stripped of his committee assignments though he still maintains he will run again. Senator 'Wide Stance' doesn't seem to understand he doesn't stand a chance of ever being elected again. It's not the crime of toilet cruising that will keep him out of office but the contradictory nature of the crime to his stated beliefs and voting record- It ain't the heat, it's the hypocrisy.
One of Hillary Clinton's top fundraisers turns out to be a fugitive on the lam. When the story first broke Hil's camp said they were sticking by their friend and saw no need to return the money- but a few hours later they reversed course and announced that it would all be donated to charity. Aww... isn't that sweet? The Jog always knew she cared about the little people.
Chubby anti-American weird beard Muqtada al-Sadr has ordered his Mahdi army to stop killing innocents for six months while he re-tools their mission. The Jog isn't a fan of this power hungry tub of lard but reading between the lines we see a bit of daylight. It may be that these Shia are getting just as disenchanted with Iran as their rival Sunni sects have become with Al-Qaeda. The Sunni clerics turned to the US after rejecting Osama. Perhaps the Shia clerics will make the same choice after rejecting Mahmoud. It's a wish on a star- but a Jog can dream.
The Taliban are still releasing South Korean hostages.
Former foes Benazir Bhutto and Pervez Musharraf are looking to become Pakistan's new power couple.
Is America running out of gasoline?
Could Virginia Tech have saved more lives?
Is your spinach going to kill you?
Billionaire hotel mogul Leona Helmsley was hated by everyone that new her- and apparently she hated them all back because she left very little in her will for specific people in her life but left $12 million to her stupid little lapdog. For what it's worth, her former housekeeper says the dog was meaner than Leona. The Jog didn't like Leona and the Jog doesn't like lapdogs. But the Jog does like funny- And leaving 12 million bucks to a dog that's near death itself is funny. Everyone dreams about having F-U money. This lady just showed us what you can do with it. Go girl!
The morons in England are still wacky for Diana. We're approaching the tenth anniversary of her death and the Brits have their bollocks all in a wad over it. Again the Jog must beg the question- Is it really news that the earth has circumnavigated the sun ten times since her chauffeur slammed his foot on the gas pedal? Or the petrol pedal... or whatever they call it over there.
It appears that reports of Owen Wilson swallowing a bunch of pills before slitting his wrists are untrue. He did slit his wrists. He just didn't down the pills. His brother Luke, who found him and called 911, broke down while answering a few questions about Owen's future. To get an idea of just how brilliant these two can be- the Jog recommends their first movie together "Bottle Rocket". Owen co-wrote it with Wes Anderson and it still stands out as one of the best buddy films ever. There is also a decent sized role played by Andrew, the rarely seen third Wilson brother. Great, great movie.
Meanwhile, Courtney Love is blaming her ex-boyfriend for Owen's current predicament.
Speaking of drugs and lives out of control- Sheriff Joe says drugs were found in rapper/actor/criminal DMX's home... right next to the dehydrated pit bulls we presume.
That hottie who had Patriots quarterback Tom Brady's baby has given the spawn her own last name and signaled that she wants the three time Super Bowl champ to stay away.
If you were silly enough to buy the first release of Microsoft's Vista- an update is on the way.
Would you like to drive an iPod? You may be able to someday soon: Apple Rumored to be in Talks with Volkswagen Over "iCar"
Is it against the law to unlock an iPhone?
What if that iPhone is unlocked in Lithuania?
Will Google soon market their own cell phone? Speculation builds about the gPhone
NASA says those claims about astronauts drinking before flights are unfounded. They do however concede that alcohol is available in the pre-flight green room. The Jog would certainly imbibe before strapping itself to the top of a huge bomb- but we're not professionals. Our favorite astronaut headline of the day is: Love Triangle Kidnap Pampernaut Preps Wingnut Defence
The coolest thing happening in the universe today is: Astronomers Get First Look at Protoplanetary "Rainfall"
The US is kicking the world's ass in basketball.
A music industry legend, Hilly Kristal, founder of CBGB's has passed away.
And finally:
The latest dispatch from Britney's last days on earth.
There's plenty more News,
but no more News Jog.
We're done.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
News Jog 8/29/07
Before we go any further the Jog would like to take a moment to make one thing perfectly clear. The Jog Is Not Gay! The Jog has never been Gay. The Jog has never used Ben-Gay. In fact, the Jog didn't even know what the word Gay meant until recent media reports surrounding the word cropped up. Once again to reiterate- the Jog is not Gay in a house, the Jog is not Gay with a mouse... listen to us when we say- the Jog Is Not Gay!
Scandalized Senator Larry Craig's 'I'm not gay' press conference yesterday was difficult to watch. As he stood before the microphones with his beard, sorry 'wife', by his side proclaiming his heterosexuality for all the world to hear- the Jog was reminded of the image of a man standing on an ocean shoreline demanding that the waves go away. Why is it so hard for this man to admit his true nature? The evidence collected over the years, as documented in yesterday's jog and further revealed in this article from the Idaho Statesman, make it clear that the only way he isn't fully gay is if he's a bisexual. At the end of the day, a man doesn't admit to being guilty of lewd acts unless he's guilty. End of story. The most tragicomic portion of the police report documenting his arrest is the Senator's contention that his 'wide stance' while taking a whizz is what made it look like he was signaling to the undercover officer in the next booth that he wanted to engage in sexual activity. Ah- the imagery... an old senator's pee stance. How bucolic. ABC news became interested in the signals used by gay men while cruising toilets (as if there weren't plenty in the newsroom with intimate knowledge) and produced this how-to guide for the next politician interested in engaging in some public bicameral legislation- If 'ya know what we mean. The Jog's favorite headline to rise from this sordid affair comes courtesy of the New York Post: OK, SO WHAT ABOUT NEW TOILET GUY?
You Tube cannot be muzzled. While the Romney campaign quickly removed the Larry Craig endorsement video from its account the internet springs many heads and we new it wouldn't be long before someone re-uploaded it to the site. Here it is.
The Taliban is slowly dribbling out its hostages. What's not being reported enough about the deal the South Korean government made to spring the captives is that the Taliban was able to get them to agree to remove their tiny force of troops from Afghanistan. They were leaving anyway- but the Jog isn't thrilled about any democracy negotiating with terrorists. You free the present hostages but doom many others to hostage taking in the future by validating the enemy's battlefield tactics.
American soldiers caught and released eight Iranians last night.
Hey- what a surprise! A religious celebration in Iraq turns deadly.
Another US military officer was acquitted of charges related to the Abu Ghraib case. But strangely enough, he may still see some jail time.
Remember General Manuel Noriega? You know, the former dictator of Panama with the acne scars that earned him the loving nickname 'Pineapple' amongst his enslaved citizens? Well, his jail sentence in the U.S. is almost up and he thought he was going home after 18 years. But uh oh- America has agreed to extradite him to France to be charged on separate crimes. Jeez, what do you have to do to get the French in a fighting mood? He's 73 now and likely to die in some prison somewhere in the near-future.
The military leader of Pakistan and an exiled former leader have made a deal.
China is now patrolling the internet with happy faced manga cops.
If you live in San Jose you're probably doing pretty well for yourself: San Jose Richest City
Is it any surprise that Mississippi is the fattest state in the country?
Don't get cocky Colorado. You may be the skinniest state in the union but you're still fatter than you used to be.
Bogus Stat of the Day- 47 Million Americans Uninsured! Even though every dirt bag politico in the country will be parroting this statistic it doesn't change the fact that it's inflated and untrue. The American Enterprise Institute looked deeper and found that of those 47 million 45% are illegal immigrants and about 55% are below the age of 34. We may indeed need to do something about health insurance coverage but the real problem isn't represented by the phoney-baloney claim that 47 million needy Americans lack coverage.
Michael Vick cancelled an appearance on the Tom Joyner radio show because his reps told him that he would probably say something that could negatively impact his image- As if that's possible. The Jog says he could have done some good had he gone on the show and told every hysterical caller that he wasn't targeted due to his race. He wasn't. He knows he wasn't. And he oughta publicly distance himself from those who maintain that he was.
Recently suicidal actor Owen Wilson has been dropped from his next film.
Bo Diddly, Diddly had a heart attack... bomp-a-bomp-bomp. We all know the classic rock-n-roll/blues artist has good timing. But how many people are lucky enough to suffer a heart attack in the middle of a medical checkup?
The dumbest woman in the world, Miss Teen South Carolina, made an appearance on the Today Show to explain why she's so dumb. At the time of her You Tube meltdown the finalists had been whittled down to just five bimbos going for the gold. Miss Teen South Carolina was the third runner-up. Which means somebody did worse than the dumbest woman in the world. The Jog felt bad for Miss Teen West Virginia so we looked her up. She's very cute but we haven't heard her speak yet.
If you need more evidence that the Space Shuttle program is a waste of time, money, and manpower- here it is: Luke's Lightsaber to Take Flight
That teen who hacked the iPhone got a cool car out of the deal.
We all assume that Apple is fighting mad about the iPhone hack. But according to this dude AT&T is angry- but Steve Jobs may have planned it this way all along.
You like your flat screen really, really big? Today's your lucky day: Sony to Introduce Largest LCD TV
Scariest news of the day? Oral Sex Causes Cancer!
The Jog's favorite headline of the day? Burning Man Burns Too Soon, Man Charged With Arson. The truth is that this guy's action is most likely the only thing that will take place during this year's weirdo gathering that actually reflects what Burning Man used to stand for. It's a festival about a world with no rules and this guy decided to break the only rule. Burning Man Lives!
Bruce Springsteen has convinced his foreman to allow him to take enough time off from his factory job to go on tour with the E Street Band.
And finally:
The latest dispatch from Britney's last days on earth.
There's plenty more News,
but no more News Jog.
We're done.
Scandalized Senator Larry Craig's 'I'm not gay' press conference yesterday was difficult to watch. As he stood before the microphones with his beard, sorry 'wife', by his side proclaiming his heterosexuality for all the world to hear- the Jog was reminded of the image of a man standing on an ocean shoreline demanding that the waves go away. Why is it so hard for this man to admit his true nature? The evidence collected over the years, as documented in yesterday's jog and further revealed in this article from the Idaho Statesman, make it clear that the only way he isn't fully gay is if he's a bisexual. At the end of the day, a man doesn't admit to being guilty of lewd acts unless he's guilty. End of story. The most tragicomic portion of the police report documenting his arrest is the Senator's contention that his 'wide stance' while taking a whizz is what made it look like he was signaling to the undercover officer in the next booth that he wanted to engage in sexual activity. Ah- the imagery... an old senator's pee stance. How bucolic. ABC news became interested in the signals used by gay men while cruising toilets (as if there weren't plenty in the newsroom with intimate knowledge) and produced this how-to guide for the next politician interested in engaging in some public bicameral legislation- If 'ya know what we mean. The Jog's favorite headline to rise from this sordid affair comes courtesy of the New York Post: OK, SO WHAT ABOUT NEW TOILET GUY?
You Tube cannot be muzzled. While the Romney campaign quickly removed the Larry Craig endorsement video from its account the internet springs many heads and we new it wouldn't be long before someone re-uploaded it to the site. Here it is.
The Taliban is slowly dribbling out its hostages. What's not being reported enough about the deal the South Korean government made to spring the captives is that the Taliban was able to get them to agree to remove their tiny force of troops from Afghanistan. They were leaving anyway- but the Jog isn't thrilled about any democracy negotiating with terrorists. You free the present hostages but doom many others to hostage taking in the future by validating the enemy's battlefield tactics.
American soldiers caught and released eight Iranians last night.
Hey- what a surprise! A religious celebration in Iraq turns deadly.
Another US military officer was acquitted of charges related to the Abu Ghraib case. But strangely enough, he may still see some jail time.
Remember General Manuel Noriega? You know, the former dictator of Panama with the acne scars that earned him the loving nickname 'Pineapple' amongst his enslaved citizens? Well, his jail sentence in the U.S. is almost up and he thought he was going home after 18 years. But uh oh- America has agreed to extradite him to France to be charged on separate crimes. Jeez, what do you have to do to get the French in a fighting mood? He's 73 now and likely to die in some prison somewhere in the near-future.
The military leader of Pakistan and an exiled former leader have made a deal.
China is now patrolling the internet with happy faced manga cops.
If you live in San Jose you're probably doing pretty well for yourself: San Jose Richest City
Is it any surprise that Mississippi is the fattest state in the country?
Don't get cocky Colorado. You may be the skinniest state in the union but you're still fatter than you used to be.
Bogus Stat of the Day- 47 Million Americans Uninsured! Even though every dirt bag politico in the country will be parroting this statistic it doesn't change the fact that it's inflated and untrue. The American Enterprise Institute looked deeper and found that of those 47 million 45% are illegal immigrants and about 55% are below the age of 34. We may indeed need to do something about health insurance coverage but the real problem isn't represented by the phoney-baloney claim that 47 million needy Americans lack coverage.
Michael Vick cancelled an appearance on the Tom Joyner radio show because his reps told him that he would probably say something that could negatively impact his image- As if that's possible. The Jog says he could have done some good had he gone on the show and told every hysterical caller that he wasn't targeted due to his race. He wasn't. He knows he wasn't. And he oughta publicly distance himself from those who maintain that he was.
Recently suicidal actor Owen Wilson has been dropped from his next film.
Bo Diddly, Diddly had a heart attack... bomp-a-bomp-bomp. We all know the classic rock-n-roll/blues artist has good timing. But how many people are lucky enough to suffer a heart attack in the middle of a medical checkup?
The dumbest woman in the world, Miss Teen South Carolina, made an appearance on the Today Show to explain why she's so dumb. At the time of her You Tube meltdown the finalists had been whittled down to just five bimbos going for the gold. Miss Teen South Carolina was the third runner-up. Which means somebody did worse than the dumbest woman in the world. The Jog felt bad for Miss Teen West Virginia so we looked her up. She's very cute but we haven't heard her speak yet.
If you need more evidence that the Space Shuttle program is a waste of time, money, and manpower- here it is: Luke's Lightsaber to Take Flight
That teen who hacked the iPhone got a cool car out of the deal.
We all assume that Apple is fighting mad about the iPhone hack. But according to this dude AT&T is angry- but Steve Jobs may have planned it this way all along.
You like your flat screen really, really big? Today's your lucky day: Sony to Introduce Largest LCD TV
Scariest news of the day? Oral Sex Causes Cancer!
The Jog's favorite headline of the day? Burning Man Burns Too Soon, Man Charged With Arson. The truth is that this guy's action is most likely the only thing that will take place during this year's weirdo gathering that actually reflects what Burning Man used to stand for. It's a festival about a world with no rules and this guy decided to break the only rule. Burning Man Lives!
Bruce Springsteen has convinced his foreman to allow him to take enough time off from his factory job to go on tour with the E Street Band.
And finally:
The latest dispatch from Britney's last days on earth.
There's plenty more News,
but no more News Jog.
We're done.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
News Jog 8/28/07
Monday's late-morning/early-afternoon volley of televised press conferences was enough to leave an ardent tennis fan with a dizzy head. First Alberto Gonzalez took to the mike to announce he was resigning the post of US Attorney General. Then Michael Vick apologized to the world for being Michael Vick and promised to work on becoming somebody different. Before enough time had elapsed to properly digest that info- President Bush de-boarded a helicopter to take a few minutes to explain that he was accepting Gonzalez's resignation with a heavy heart- then turned, boarded Air Force One and flew away. But before he could clear D.C. airspace Falcons owner Arthur Blank appeared before the press corp to say that he accepted Michael's apology with a heavy heart. But not too heavy. He still wants his money back.
Let the Gonzalez punditry begin! At least it'll put an end to all the Karl Rove psycho-babble. Like the Rove tripe most of the stuff written and televised about Gonzalez will miss the mark as reporters and media organizations of differing ideological stripes bend the analysis to fit their narrative. To some he is a fascist who consolidated power in an attempted coup de tat of civil liberties. To others he was a loyal and effective soldier in the War on Terror. To the Jog he was a bright guy who was effective on protecting the administration's right to effectively hunt down, imprison, and kill the terrorists that threaten the nation- but he also turned out to be piss-poor at explaining why he was right even when he was right. The fact that the legal firing of nine of his subordinates was allowed to blossom into a full-blown scandal was proof enough that he wasn't fully up to the job. Good man. Good riddance.
The Jog maintains that Bush's presidency will fare better in history than his current popularity would indicate. This article tackles the idea and comes to the conclusion that the Jog is dreaming. That's fine. The only problem is that we challenge anyone to find a definitive reason given in the article, other than the opinions of experts no one has ever heard of, as to why it won't happen. Truman was hated when he left office and is now considered one of the greats. It happens that way sometimes. It will take many years before Bush gets credit for thwarting every terror plot planned for US soil since 9/11. We don't care about that right now- but in 25 or 50 years when the classified material that he's seeing right now goes public- the Jog is betting his presidency will be seen in a different light.
One thing he's not doing is keeping heroin off the street: Afghani Opium Harvest Jumps to New High!
According to the government of South Korea the Taliban have agreed to free all 19 of their hostages. Aren't they sweethearts? They only brutally murdered two of the original 23 abducted- but who's counting? Let's not step on good news.
Here's a doozy: US Senator Pleads Guilty After Toilet Arrest
In the Jog's opinion it isn't a good idea for closeted gay white men to become career politicians who win office on a platform of 'family values'. You can be gay and you can be Republican- but you're not going to make it to the end of the road as a gay Republican who preaches against the gay lifestyle... because sooner or later the real you will emerge- it's inevitable! In the words of the great John Prine: 'Bewildered, Bewildered/You have no complaint/You are what your are and you ain't what you ain't.' The problem for Mitt Romney is that this particular Senator was a big-wig in his 'family values' presidential campaign. The Romney people quickly took down a video of the now scandalized Senator praising Romney from their campaign You Tube site. But You Tube tells a larger story. Apparently this guy was nearly implicated in a male page scandal back in the early 80's when he was serving in the House of Representatives. In this ABC report from 1982 a much younger Craig comically comes forward to say he isn't gay even though no one actually asked. And his colleagues obviously knew for awhile because in this Bill Maher clip from last year his name comes up in a discussion of possible closeted Republicans. Apparently the Jog was the last to know- and the Jog harbors no ill-will toward the gay community. But the Jog has a question. Why would anyone, no matter their sexual preference, want to have sex in a room that smells like poo?
Yes- the Jog loves You Tube. But you still gotta be careful: Cybercrooks Prey on You Tube Fans
You Tube is in trouble in Germany over some neo-Nazi videos available on the site. Germany is still 'officially' anti-Nazi. At least when they're sober.
If you live in America and you like the bit torrent- download all you can while you can: TorrentSpy Shuts Out U.S. Users
Owen Wilson is pleading for privacy after his apparent suicide attempt. Hey- the Jog'll give him some space. We're cool like that.
Hulk Hogan has an idiot kid who done an idiot thing.
After all the hype- finally some results: Human Embryonic Stem Cells Can Improve Heart Function in Rats
We're gonna need that kind of groundbreaking medicine soon: Americans Fatter Than Ever!
A video game so bloody that it was banned is making a comeback.
Excited about hacking your iPhone? Think again.
CBS' reality show 'Kid Nation' is still getting a lot of criticism. C'mon- all they did was send a bunch of children to a ghost town to set up a real life Lord of the Flies style government. Stop babying these little wimps. If they're made of the right stuff they'll get along alright. If not, they die. It's time to grow up!
Things don't look good for famed music producer/killer Phil Spector. His lead attorney just quit and it's only days before closing arguments in his murder trial. Not good.
The Jog could only find one famous person defending illegal dogfighting- and that man is Mr. Jamie Foxx. We assume his PR person was on holiday.
And finally:
The latest dispatch from Britney's last days on earth.
Let the Gonzalez punditry begin! At least it'll put an end to all the Karl Rove psycho-babble. Like the Rove tripe most of the stuff written and televised about Gonzalez will miss the mark as reporters and media organizations of differing ideological stripes bend the analysis to fit their narrative. To some he is a fascist who consolidated power in an attempted coup de tat of civil liberties. To others he was a loyal and effective soldier in the War on Terror. To the Jog he was a bright guy who was effective on protecting the administration's right to effectively hunt down, imprison, and kill the terrorists that threaten the nation- but he also turned out to be piss-poor at explaining why he was right even when he was right. The fact that the legal firing of nine of his subordinates was allowed to blossom into a full-blown scandal was proof enough that he wasn't fully up to the job. Good man. Good riddance.
The Jog maintains that Bush's presidency will fare better in history than his current popularity would indicate. This article tackles the idea and comes to the conclusion that the Jog is dreaming. That's fine. The only problem is that we challenge anyone to find a definitive reason given in the article, other than the opinions of experts no one has ever heard of, as to why it won't happen. Truman was hated when he left office and is now considered one of the greats. It happens that way sometimes. It will take many years before Bush gets credit for thwarting every terror plot planned for US soil since 9/11. We don't care about that right now- but in 25 or 50 years when the classified material that he's seeing right now goes public- the Jog is betting his presidency will be seen in a different light.
One thing he's not doing is keeping heroin off the street: Afghani Opium Harvest Jumps to New High!
According to the government of South Korea the Taliban have agreed to free all 19 of their hostages. Aren't they sweethearts? They only brutally murdered two of the original 23 abducted- but who's counting? Let's not step on good news.
Here's a doozy: US Senator Pleads Guilty After Toilet Arrest
In the Jog's opinion it isn't a good idea for closeted gay white men to become career politicians who win office on a platform of 'family values'. You can be gay and you can be Republican- but you're not going to make it to the end of the road as a gay Republican who preaches against the gay lifestyle... because sooner or later the real you will emerge- it's inevitable! In the words of the great John Prine: 'Bewildered, Bewildered/You have no complaint/You are what your are and you ain't what you ain't.' The problem for Mitt Romney is that this particular Senator was a big-wig in his 'family values' presidential campaign. The Romney people quickly took down a video of the now scandalized Senator praising Romney from their campaign You Tube site. But You Tube tells a larger story. Apparently this guy was nearly implicated in a male page scandal back in the early 80's when he was serving in the House of Representatives. In this ABC report from 1982 a much younger Craig comically comes forward to say he isn't gay even though no one actually asked. And his colleagues obviously knew for awhile because in this Bill Maher clip from last year his name comes up in a discussion of possible closeted Republicans. Apparently the Jog was the last to know- and the Jog harbors no ill-will toward the gay community. But the Jog has a question. Why would anyone, no matter their sexual preference, want to have sex in a room that smells like poo?
Yes- the Jog loves You Tube. But you still gotta be careful: Cybercrooks Prey on You Tube Fans
You Tube is in trouble in Germany over some neo-Nazi videos available on the site. Germany is still 'officially' anti-Nazi. At least when they're sober.
If you live in America and you like the bit torrent- download all you can while you can: TorrentSpy Shuts Out U.S. Users
Owen Wilson is pleading for privacy after his apparent suicide attempt. Hey- the Jog'll give him some space. We're cool like that.
Hulk Hogan has an idiot kid who done an idiot thing.
After all the hype- finally some results: Human Embryonic Stem Cells Can Improve Heart Function in Rats
We're gonna need that kind of groundbreaking medicine soon: Americans Fatter Than Ever!
A video game so bloody that it was banned is making a comeback.
Excited about hacking your iPhone? Think again.
CBS' reality show 'Kid Nation' is still getting a lot of criticism. C'mon- all they did was send a bunch of children to a ghost town to set up a real life Lord of the Flies style government. Stop babying these little wimps. If they're made of the right stuff they'll get along alright. If not, they die. It's time to grow up!
Things don't look good for famed music producer/killer Phil Spector. His lead attorney just quit and it's only days before closing arguments in his murder trial. Not good.
The Jog could only find one famous person defending illegal dogfighting- and that man is Mr. Jamie Foxx. We assume his PR person was on holiday.
And finally:
The latest dispatch from Britney's last days on earth.
News Jog 8/27/07
Breaking News as the Jog goes to press: US Attorney General Gonzales Resigns!
The Jog has much to say about this dude- but we'll let events play out today and explain what the hell is really going on tomorrow,
Is Fidel Castro dead? He hasn't been seen in a good long time and the anti-Castro Cubans are celebrating his passing on the streets of Miami... again. The problem is that these folks have celebrated on the five yard line a few times before- only to find out that the bearded wonder was still alive. But let the Jog be so bold as to say this feels a bit different. In the world of communistic/fascististic/workers' paradises the birthday of the supreme leader is a big, big deal worthy of much celebration. Yet Fidel's 81st slipped by without so much as an appearance of the murderous lover of cigars anywhere. Not even a picture of the 'healthy' leader reading his beloved morning paper in bed. This smells like the real-deal at the jog and we will be the first to put our credibility on the line and say we think Fidel Castro is dead. Even if we're wrong for the moment- you can bet he'll be pushing up daisies within months. Count on it. The reason we feel so sure about our position are the remarks made toward the end of this article. Notice that Hugo Chavez talks more about the 'spirit' of Fidel Castro still being alive than he does about the man himself. It's a notion- but we think he's dead. And we suspect Gloris Estefan believes that too.
Stepping away from the political but staying within the realm of death- it appears that actor Owen Wilson attempted suicide and is now in the hospital. Reports of slashed wrists and empty pill bottles are making the rounds and not being denied by family members. Why is it that monsters like Castro cling to life forever while talents like Wilson are impatient for death? Is life really that long? Just relax, depressed people- death will come soon enough.
Republican Senator John Warner is calling the Iraqi Maliki government a failure. For his part, Prime Minister Maliki is calling Hillary Clinton and other critics a bunch of names.
West Nile Update- More old people die.
Bird Flu Update- Germany slaughters 160,000 birds. Mike Vick looks on with envy.
Speaking of Michael Vick: The Atlanta Falcons are on MNF tonight and surprise, surprise: Ad Firms Doubting Future of NFL Star
Meanwhile, rapper/actor/criminal DMX is in trouble for pit bulls in poor health found on his property- sound familiar?
Greece is still on fire. If they don't get a handle on this soon the Jog will never be able to see all those great ancient sites that we probably never would gotten around to visiting anyway.
The Democrats are about to render their Florida presidential primary null and void.
Let's hear it for George Hotz. The 17 year old is the first hacker to 'unlock' the iPhone and uploaded a video to YouTube to prove it. Now he's being interviewed by all the big media players. The Jog was going to make one of those jokes about how he's a nerd that should have spent his summer chasing skirts rather than trying to hack the iPhone. But hey, you know what? This country has enough teenage pussy hounds. We need more kids like this. But if we find out he's into Dungeons and Dragons all bets are off.
The Jog doesn't expect much from the TV evangelists who litter the cable and satellite dial with their nonsense. But we do expect that a TV evangelist known for a ministry that specializes in marriage counseling won't be busted for beating his wife up in a parking lot. But it happened and here are some pics of his smacked up co-minister.
That astronaut famous for her use of adult diapers and pepper-spray says she's sorry.
There's a full Lunar Eclipse tonight- but you probably won't see it.
Ever wanted to open the door of an airplane while in flight? Sure you have.
One person and one person only won the $314 million Powerball Jackpot on Saturday. The Jog never plays the lottery. Just like you, we didn't win. But unlike you, we knew that before the power balls were drawn.
Prince Charles' current wife and former lover Camilla has decided not to attend the tenth year anniversary death-memorial for the late Princess Diana. Why would anyone attend a memorial for a person as worthless as this woman was? Would someone please remind the Jog exactly what it was about her that was so wonderful?
Yahoo Mail gets a new look today.
The once wonderful now dreadfully predictable Burning Man Festival begins tomorrow.
Three cheers for Warner Robbins, GA.- Winner of The Little League World Series!
Did you catch the Miss Teen USA pageant on Friday? No? Well don't worry- here's the winner... and here's some video of possibly the dumbest contestant in the history of bimbo beauty pageants: Miss South Carolina Answers Question
And finally:
The latest dispatch from Britney's last days on earth.
There's plenty more news.
but no more News Jog.
We're done.
The Jog has much to say about this dude- but we'll let events play out today and explain what the hell is really going on tomorrow,
Is Fidel Castro dead? He hasn't been seen in a good long time and the anti-Castro Cubans are celebrating his passing on the streets of Miami... again. The problem is that these folks have celebrated on the five yard line a few times before- only to find out that the bearded wonder was still alive. But let the Jog be so bold as to say this feels a bit different. In the world of communistic/fascististic/workers' paradises the birthday of the supreme leader is a big, big deal worthy of much celebration. Yet Fidel's 81st slipped by without so much as an appearance of the murderous lover of cigars anywhere. Not even a picture of the 'healthy' leader reading his beloved morning paper in bed. This smells like the real-deal at the jog and we will be the first to put our credibility on the line and say we think Fidel Castro is dead. Even if we're wrong for the moment- you can bet he'll be pushing up daisies within months. Count on it. The reason we feel so sure about our position are the remarks made toward the end of this article. Notice that Hugo Chavez talks more about the 'spirit' of Fidel Castro still being alive than he does about the man himself. It's a notion- but we think he's dead. And we suspect Gloris Estefan believes that too.
Stepping away from the political but staying within the realm of death- it appears that actor Owen Wilson attempted suicide and is now in the hospital. Reports of slashed wrists and empty pill bottles are making the rounds and not being denied by family members. Why is it that monsters like Castro cling to life forever while talents like Wilson are impatient for death? Is life really that long? Just relax, depressed people- death will come soon enough.
Republican Senator John Warner is calling the Iraqi Maliki government a failure. For his part, Prime Minister Maliki is calling Hillary Clinton and other critics a bunch of names.
West Nile Update- More old people die.
Bird Flu Update- Germany slaughters 160,000 birds. Mike Vick looks on with envy.
Speaking of Michael Vick: The Atlanta Falcons are on MNF tonight and surprise, surprise: Ad Firms Doubting Future of NFL Star
Meanwhile, rapper/actor/criminal DMX is in trouble for pit bulls in poor health found on his property- sound familiar?
Greece is still on fire. If they don't get a handle on this soon the Jog will never be able to see all those great ancient sites that we probably never would gotten around to visiting anyway.
The Democrats are about to render their Florida presidential primary null and void.
Let's hear it for George Hotz. The 17 year old is the first hacker to 'unlock' the iPhone and uploaded a video to YouTube to prove it. Now he's being interviewed by all the big media players. The Jog was going to make one of those jokes about how he's a nerd that should have spent his summer chasing skirts rather than trying to hack the iPhone. But hey, you know what? This country has enough teenage pussy hounds. We need more kids like this. But if we find out he's into Dungeons and Dragons all bets are off.
The Jog doesn't expect much from the TV evangelists who litter the cable and satellite dial with their nonsense. But we do expect that a TV evangelist known for a ministry that specializes in marriage counseling won't be busted for beating his wife up in a parking lot. But it happened and here are some pics of his smacked up co-minister.
That astronaut famous for her use of adult diapers and pepper-spray says she's sorry.
There's a full Lunar Eclipse tonight- but you probably won't see it.
Ever wanted to open the door of an airplane while in flight? Sure you have.
One person and one person only won the $314 million Powerball Jackpot on Saturday. The Jog never plays the lottery. Just like you, we didn't win. But unlike you, we knew that before the power balls were drawn.
Prince Charles' current wife and former lover Camilla has decided not to attend the tenth year anniversary death-memorial for the late Princess Diana. Why would anyone attend a memorial for a person as worthless as this woman was? Would someone please remind the Jog exactly what it was about her that was so wonderful?
Yahoo Mail gets a new look today.
The once wonderful now dreadfully predictable Burning Man Festival begins tomorrow.
Three cheers for Warner Robbins, GA.- Winner of The Little League World Series!
Did you catch the Miss Teen USA pageant on Friday? No? Well don't worry- here's the winner... and here's some video of possibly the dumbest contestant in the history of bimbo beauty pageants: Miss South Carolina Answers Question
And finally:
The latest dispatch from Britney's last days on earth.
There's plenty more news.
but no more News Jog.
We're done.
News Jog 8/24/07
The NIE (National Intelligence Estimate) released its report on the stability of Iraq yesterday. The report is the first official US report card on the Bush/Patreus surge and the results were mixed. In a nutshell it seems that the change in military strategy is showing signs of progress but the political process that it is designed to enhance is either stuck in the mud or moving at such a slow pace as to be laughable. The mainstream media is only pushing the negative- Republican Calls For Troop Withdrawal, Obama On NIE- but the Jog gleans that there is enough in the report to allow the Prez to continue the surge through next summer. The only reasonable conclusion that can be derived from the latest flurry of reports coming out of Baghdad is that the current strategy should have been the strategy all along. The Jog believes that much of this heartache would have been avoided if Colin Powell had had more influence on the Prez than Donald Rumsfeld in the buildup to the war. The Powell Doctrine of overwhelming force served us well in the first Iraq war. Rumsfeld's 21st century military reform concept (lighter, faster, more mobile) was a gamble that didn't pay off. The country would have been much better served if Colin Powell had been the Secretary of Defense during Bush's first term.
There's a potential brouhaha bubbling up between the Bush administration and General Peter Pace- the outgoing head of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. He is expected to advise that we cut troop levels in half in Iraq within the year. That's not likely to go down well at the White House.
The future of Pakistan is up for grabs. The Pakistani Supreme Court has cleared the way for democratic rivals to return to the country and vie for power. This is one of those stories that leaves the Jog ambivalent. On one hand the current leader, Pervez Musharaff is a strongman who has been a decent ally for the US in that fight known as the War on Terror. On the other hand- He is a military strongman who needs to be subjected to the rigors of the electoral process. On the third hand- it's disconcerting to find that so many residents of Pakistan are slaughtering goats to celebrate the return of their favorite democratic candidates. The Jog has a notion that true peace can never happen until people from this area of the world emerge from the Middle Ages and join us here in the year 2007. We hesitates to be too elitist, but c'mon, a lot of these people are just plain backward. In other words- their hillbillies are worse than our hillbillies.
The families of those, by now surely dead, miners trapped underground in Utah say they are praying for a miracle. Meanwhile, the mine owner says they're dead and he's going to close down the mine. This isn't sitting well with the praying families. But worse for mine co-owner Bob Murray is that it's not sitting well with Sen. Ted Kennedy: Lawmakers to Probe Safety at Utah Mine
According to this story Michael Vick won't be admitting to gambling or killing dogs. He will only admit to being present when dogs were killed. So it turns out he's a good guy after all.
According to this story the whole Michael Vick saga has created a rift within African-American leadership. Some see a racist system targeting a successful black man- While others see a man who has done the crime and now needs to do the time.
According to this story Vick's dad is a deadbeat who says his son is guilty as charged.
News Flash- The sun can burn you!
The Jog's favorite headline of the day is: Five Tons of Cocaine Found on Submarine
The Jog is a big believer in the exploration of space but has come to the conclusion that the Space Shuttle program is about as relevant now as Howard Hughes' Spruce Goose was back in the day. There are only three flights left before the whole thing gets retired so why not put it in mothballs now? Why not? Because those flights are needed for the construction of the already nearly-useless Space Station. Enough already- let's get back to the moon and on to putting a human on Mars. We don't need the Shuttle anymore. Not even to get these nifty pictures of earth.
When the Jog was a youngster Uranus was the planet that lent itself to the easiest obvious jokes. At that time we all made crass jokes about a planet that we were told didn't have rings like Saturn. But then in the late 70's we found out it did have rings and that led to even better jokes. Now we have the best pictures we've ever seen of those rings. We've also changed the pronunciation of Uranus from 'Your-Anus' to 'Your-uh-Nuss' so the cheap jokes aren't as easy to toss around the schoolroom. Ah- progress.
Have you ever had an out-of-body experience? Many claim to have seen themselves from across the room or staring down at themselves from the ceiling. Now some scientists are saying that they can induce an out-of-body experience. Your intrepid Jog editor once had an out-of-body experience and he still doesn't believe in them. Go figure.
Folks are angry with monster.com for waiting five days to let their customers know that a security breach had made their personal info vulnerable to the bad guys.
The Nintendo Wii is now the fastest selling console in video game history.
One of those consoles being beaten by the Wii has something else to worry about: Xbox 360 Wheel May Overheat!
After spending their life savings on a new iPhone many customers have complained about the absurdly hefty monthly bill they've been receiving. But now AT&T says there'll be no more 300 page bills sent to customers. Unless they want them, of course.
The new Samuel L. Jackson movie 'Resurrecting The Champ' is getting some okay reviews. Here's an example.
The reviews for 'The Nanny Diaries' range from 'wickedly funny' to just plain 'awful.'
Gotta love those celebrities: Nicole Richie was booked into jail to serve a four day sentence at 3:15p. and was released at 4:37p. the same day. We look forward to some kind of tell-all book that comes clean with the details of her 82 minute ordeal. In the Jog's opinion she should have served at least 90 minutes for carrying that annoying lapdog around everywhere she goes. Where's Michael Vick when you need him?
Lindsay Lohan is going to jail too. She has been sentenced to one whole day in the slammer. So if Nicole Richie's four days actually meant 82 minutes in celebrity jail time math- the Jog looks for Lohan to be released while being booked.
And finally:
It's not just the young celebs that know how to get themselves in trouble with the law. Bill Murray was busted in Sweden for driving a golf cart while drunk. At least he wasn't seen carting around one of those annoying Britney/Paris/Nicole lapdogs. The Jog still loves Bill Murray.
There's plenty more News,
but no more News Jog.
We're done.
There's a potential brouhaha bubbling up between the Bush administration and General Peter Pace- the outgoing head of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. He is expected to advise that we cut troop levels in half in Iraq within the year. That's not likely to go down well at the White House.
The future of Pakistan is up for grabs. The Pakistani Supreme Court has cleared the way for democratic rivals to return to the country and vie for power. This is one of those stories that leaves the Jog ambivalent. On one hand the current leader, Pervez Musharaff is a strongman who has been a decent ally for the US in that fight known as the War on Terror. On the other hand- He is a military strongman who needs to be subjected to the rigors of the electoral process. On the third hand- it's disconcerting to find that so many residents of Pakistan are slaughtering goats to celebrate the return of their favorite democratic candidates. The Jog has a notion that true peace can never happen until people from this area of the world emerge from the Middle Ages and join us here in the year 2007. We hesitates to be too elitist, but c'mon, a lot of these people are just plain backward. In other words- their hillbillies are worse than our hillbillies.
The families of those, by now surely dead, miners trapped underground in Utah say they are praying for a miracle. Meanwhile, the mine owner says they're dead and he's going to close down the mine. This isn't sitting well with the praying families. But worse for mine co-owner Bob Murray is that it's not sitting well with Sen. Ted Kennedy: Lawmakers to Probe Safety at Utah Mine
According to this story Michael Vick won't be admitting to gambling or killing dogs. He will only admit to being present when dogs were killed. So it turns out he's a good guy after all.
According to this story the whole Michael Vick saga has created a rift within African-American leadership. Some see a racist system targeting a successful black man- While others see a man who has done the crime and now needs to do the time.
According to this story Vick's dad is a deadbeat who says his son is guilty as charged.
News Flash- The sun can burn you!
The Jog's favorite headline of the day is: Five Tons of Cocaine Found on Submarine
The Jog is a big believer in the exploration of space but has come to the conclusion that the Space Shuttle program is about as relevant now as Howard Hughes' Spruce Goose was back in the day. There are only three flights left before the whole thing gets retired so why not put it in mothballs now? Why not? Because those flights are needed for the construction of the already nearly-useless Space Station. Enough already- let's get back to the moon and on to putting a human on Mars. We don't need the Shuttle anymore. Not even to get these nifty pictures of earth.
When the Jog was a youngster Uranus was the planet that lent itself to the easiest obvious jokes. At that time we all made crass jokes about a planet that we were told didn't have rings like Saturn. But then in the late 70's we found out it did have rings and that led to even better jokes. Now we have the best pictures we've ever seen of those rings. We've also changed the pronunciation of Uranus from 'Your-Anus' to 'Your-uh-Nuss' so the cheap jokes aren't as easy to toss around the schoolroom. Ah- progress.
Have you ever had an out-of-body experience? Many claim to have seen themselves from across the room or staring down at themselves from the ceiling. Now some scientists are saying that they can induce an out-of-body experience. Your intrepid Jog editor once had an out-of-body experience and he still doesn't believe in them. Go figure.
Folks are angry with monster.com for waiting five days to let their customers know that a security breach had made their personal info vulnerable to the bad guys.
The Nintendo Wii is now the fastest selling console in video game history.
One of those consoles being beaten by the Wii has something else to worry about: Xbox 360 Wheel May Overheat!
After spending their life savings on a new iPhone many customers have complained about the absurdly hefty monthly bill they've been receiving. But now AT&T says there'll be no more 300 page bills sent to customers. Unless they want them, of course.
The new Samuel L. Jackson movie 'Resurrecting The Champ' is getting some okay reviews. Here's an example.
The reviews for 'The Nanny Diaries' range from 'wickedly funny' to just plain 'awful.'
Gotta love those celebrities: Nicole Richie was booked into jail to serve a four day sentence at 3:15p. and was released at 4:37p. the same day. We look forward to some kind of tell-all book that comes clean with the details of her 82 minute ordeal. In the Jog's opinion she should have served at least 90 minutes for carrying that annoying lapdog around everywhere she goes. Where's Michael Vick when you need him?
Lindsay Lohan is going to jail too. She has been sentenced to one whole day in the slammer. So if Nicole Richie's four days actually meant 82 minutes in celebrity jail time math- the Jog looks for Lohan to be released while being booked.
And finally:
It's not just the young celebs that know how to get themselves in trouble with the law. Bill Murray was busted in Sweden for driving a golf cart while drunk. At least he wasn't seen carting around one of those annoying Britney/Paris/Nicole lapdogs. The Jog still loves Bill Murray.
There's plenty more News,
but no more News Jog.
We're done.
News Jog 8/23/07
President Bush's use of the Vietnam analogy as rationale for not precipitously withdrawing from Iraq in a speech before a meeting of the VFW in Missouri yesterday has set the pundit tongues-a-wagging today. Bush's point was a good one. Basically he was saying that no matter what you thought about going into Iraq in the first place, the bloodshed that followed our hasty exit from Vietnam should give everyone, on every side of the debate, pause before condemning the citizens of Iraq to the same sort of killing fields simply because we no longer want to shoulder the responsibility of keeping it from happening. How's that for a run-on sentence?
If you need evidence that the Prez is right on this one just check out this story from Iraq: Al Qaeda Abducts Iraqi Women and Children
The Pentagon is pissing off everyone with the recent announcement that they will only be delivering about half as many mine-proof vehicles to Iraq as they had previously announced.
Russia has been very aggressive lately. They seem to be itching for some kind of fight with the West. Now they're accusing Georgians of hallucinating about violations of their airspace by Russian aircraft.
Every four years we have a presidential contest in this country. Every four years new candidates emerge talking about change and wasting valuable time trying to court the young, hip vote. And every four years those candidates are let down when the hoped for slacker vote doesn't materialize. This season is filled with idiotic talk about how the internet is changing things. It's not, not yet anyway. But that didn't keep the Dems from participating in a completely bizarre YouTube/CNN debate recently and it hasn't kept many Dems and Repubs from getting involved with the latest silliness- the MTV/MySpace candidate dialogues. When will these political operatives realize that hipsters are not a reliable vote? They talk a good game throughout the election season but if just one keg or potential make-out session crops up on election day- they never make it to the polls. Interestingly a lot of young people did help in the last presidential election. But they helped George W. Bush to victory. It turns out that conservative and evangelical youth actually take the time to vote. If the Jog were still 20 it would rather be drinking and whoring than voting. God save its soul.
But it turns out you don't have to be young to feel that way. According to a new medical report old people have more sex than young people think they do. Which is fine but in reading between the lines of this article one's left with the feeling that elderly sex just ain't that great. For his part, your erstwhile editor has let his wife know that once we reach 60 we're done.
The owner of the Crandall Canyon Mine in Utah says they will dig one more hole to search for survivors and then give up and close down the mine. This has family members openly speculating that there might be something the owner doesn't want investigators to find out about the working condition of the mine. It's hard to investigate if the mine is shut down.
Here's a story about a university that had to payoff the parents of a student who died because he was so drunk he didn't know where he was.
The NAACP is requesting that the NFL not punish Michael Vick.
Meanwhile, if Michael is looking for a wife may we nominate rapper Foxy Brown. A celebrity every bit as arrogant and vapid as Vick himself:
Eli Manning has ben quiet for a long time. Taking huge dollops of NYC criticism for his performance as Giants quarterback in relative silence. But Eli got pissed after Tiki Barber referred to him as a weak leader. The Jog has liked Eli since this interview just after he was drafted to the NFL.
The Jog isn't much of a golfer and is no expert on golf. But what good is a golf playoff system that allows Tiger Woods the luxury of missing the first round?
Is the Barry Bond's home-run record setting ball tainted, or will it sell?
Here's a surprise. Losing weight is good for you. It turns out that those gastric bypass operations that pinch off the stomach help once morbidly obese people to all-around better health. All the Jog had to do was witness the Star Jones turnaround. She may still be annoying and fun to hate but you gotta give the lady her props. Here is Star before the surgery. And here she is after the surgery.
Apparently, songs about summer aren't as popular as they used to be.
Here's the most cringe inducing headline of the day:Woman Sets Fire To Ex-Husband's Penis!
Google is upping the ante. On the heels of the success of Google Earth they have now introduced Google Sky. You can now get up close and personal with 200 million galaxies. Here's how it works.
The Jog has believed for some time that it won't be long before one of these reality shows leads to some sort of murder and mayhem. Maybe we're inching closer to that day: Controversy Grows Over 'Kid Nation'
The iPhone is still selling well but needs more features.
Sony's doing everything they can to make Playstation relevant again. The PSP will soon have new gizmos and the PS3 will soon be able to tape digital TV.
Some recently discovered really old diamonds are changing theories about the early formation of planet earth.
Some recently discovered ape fossils are changing details about the evolution of humankind on planet earth.
And finally:
The latest dispatch from Britney's last days on planet earth.
There's plenty more News,
but no more News Jog.
We're done.
If you need evidence that the Prez is right on this one just check out this story from Iraq: Al Qaeda Abducts Iraqi Women and Children
The Pentagon is pissing off everyone with the recent announcement that they will only be delivering about half as many mine-proof vehicles to Iraq as they had previously announced.
Russia has been very aggressive lately. They seem to be itching for some kind of fight with the West. Now they're accusing Georgians of hallucinating about violations of their airspace by Russian aircraft.
Every four years we have a presidential contest in this country. Every four years new candidates emerge talking about change and wasting valuable time trying to court the young, hip vote. And every four years those candidates are let down when the hoped for slacker vote doesn't materialize. This season is filled with idiotic talk about how the internet is changing things. It's not, not yet anyway. But that didn't keep the Dems from participating in a completely bizarre YouTube/CNN debate recently and it hasn't kept many Dems and Repubs from getting involved with the latest silliness- the MTV/MySpace candidate dialogues. When will these political operatives realize that hipsters are not a reliable vote? They talk a good game throughout the election season but if just one keg or potential make-out session crops up on election day- they never make it to the polls. Interestingly a lot of young people did help in the last presidential election. But they helped George W. Bush to victory. It turns out that conservative and evangelical youth actually take the time to vote. If the Jog were still 20 it would rather be drinking and whoring than voting. God save its soul.
But it turns out you don't have to be young to feel that way. According to a new medical report old people have more sex than young people think they do. Which is fine but in reading between the lines of this article one's left with the feeling that elderly sex just ain't that great. For his part, your erstwhile editor has let his wife know that once we reach 60 we're done.
The owner of the Crandall Canyon Mine in Utah says they will dig one more hole to search for survivors and then give up and close down the mine. This has family members openly speculating that there might be something the owner doesn't want investigators to find out about the working condition of the mine. It's hard to investigate if the mine is shut down.
Here's a story about a university that had to payoff the parents of a student who died because he was so drunk he didn't know where he was.
The NAACP is requesting that the NFL not punish Michael Vick.
Meanwhile, if Michael is looking for a wife may we nominate rapper Foxy Brown. A celebrity every bit as arrogant and vapid as Vick himself:
Eli Manning has ben quiet for a long time. Taking huge dollops of NYC criticism for his performance as Giants quarterback in relative silence. But Eli got pissed after Tiki Barber referred to him as a weak leader. The Jog has liked Eli since this interview just after he was drafted to the NFL.
The Jog isn't much of a golfer and is no expert on golf. But what good is a golf playoff system that allows Tiger Woods the luxury of missing the first round?
Is the Barry Bond's home-run record setting ball tainted, or will it sell?
Here's a surprise. Losing weight is good for you. It turns out that those gastric bypass operations that pinch off the stomach help once morbidly obese people to all-around better health. All the Jog had to do was witness the Star Jones turnaround. She may still be annoying and fun to hate but you gotta give the lady her props. Here is Star before the surgery. And here she is after the surgery.
Apparently, songs about summer aren't as popular as they used to be.
Here's the most cringe inducing headline of the day:Woman Sets Fire To Ex-Husband's Penis!
Google is upping the ante. On the heels of the success of Google Earth they have now introduced Google Sky. You can now get up close and personal with 200 million galaxies. Here's how it works.
The Jog has believed for some time that it won't be long before one of these reality shows leads to some sort of murder and mayhem. Maybe we're inching closer to that day: Controversy Grows Over 'Kid Nation'
The iPhone is still selling well but needs more features.
Sony's doing everything they can to make Playstation relevant again. The PSP will soon have new gizmos and the PS3 will soon be able to tape digital TV.
Some recently discovered really old diamonds are changing theories about the early formation of planet earth.
Some recently discovered ape fossils are changing details about the evolution of humankind on planet earth.
And finally:
The latest dispatch from Britney's last days on planet earth.
There's plenty more News,
but no more News Jog.
We're done.
News Jog 8/22/07
The Jog is often found cynically lamenting the loss of true heroes to look up to in this country. But they do exist. They are rarely found on sports fields, fashion runways, or shopping on Rodeo Drive. But people of character and purpose are still around and Yang Jianli is one of those people. Jailed for five years by the Chinese government he has now returned to his family in Boston. Without a trace of bitterness over his ordeal he is predicting a widespread democracy movement will sweep the communist party out of power in the near future. The Jog hopes he's correct. A democratic China would almost certainly become a strong ally to The United States and Geo-politics would change for the better immediately.
Former director of the CIA, George Tenet, is taking it on the chin in a new report just made public by the agency he used to direct. The Jog opines that Tenet deserves some blame for the sucker-punch that was 9/11, but we smell the faint odor of scapegoat emanating from this high-level grilling.
Another helicopter has gone down in Iraq and another 14 soldiers have been lost as a result.
Since everybody else is doing it, why not the prez? Bush Compares Iraq & Vietnam
Hurricane Dean is now a paltry Category One storm. But don't relax it could rebuild into a monster once again as it heads for its second Mexican landfall. The Jog couldn't help but notice the distress in the voices of the 24 hour news anchors when they were forced to announce that no one had been killed by its first Mexican landfall.
Bush wrapped up his summit with Mexican and Canadian leaders yesterday. Not much of substance got done. They did however agree to work together to keep harmful toys out of North America. Way to take a stand fellas!
Surprise, surprise- The US accuses Iran of lying about their nuclear intentions.
The Pentagon is ending one of those bugaboo programs civil libertarians hate so much. The military says they're retiring the Talon system because it was ineffective, not because of pressure from the ACLU. But the Jog suspects it was a little of both.
Is there anything scarier in terms of the US economy than these words? -["...a public relations blitz to shore up investor confidence."]- Well you can find those scary words and others in this article documenting the latest in the sub-prime debacle. The Jog says let the bad loans flush out of the system. Why reward bad speculation with government tinkering and bail outs?
The Space Shuttle has returned and everybody lived.
America's growing supply of fat kids has been found to house a growing supply of fat kids with hypertension!
If Michael Vick was thinking about going to Canada after incarceration he'd better think again. The CFL doesn't want him.
If you've uploaded your resume to monster.com you may be vulnerable to hackers who have stolen your info and are looking to blackmail you to keep that info safe.
Did you know Wal-Mart has a music download service that competes with iTunes? Well, they do and now they're making music available DRM-free.
MTV is ditching the Zune and climbing in bed with Real Player. The Zune? Hello? Anyone? Is thing on?
Just as we stopped laughing at Beyonce falling onstage. She ups the giggle factor with a Janet Jackson moment.
Amy Winehouse is backing out of her US tour due to exhaustion. For the uninitiated in pop star parlance- 'exhausted' means 'addicted.' Good luck on the rehab Amy.
A gun that went missing from Elvis' collection a few days ago was found in the toilet. Just like Elvis was.
The end is near! A ventriloquist has captured the heart of the nation and won the million dollars on America's Got Talent. The Jog is quick to point out that we may not have much talent after all if a ventriloquist is walking away with the big prize.
Those injured extras are threatening to sue Tom Cruise's Nazi movie.
This will throw the right-wing into a tizzy: Janeane Garofalo Joins The Cast of 24!
If you're looking for that book where O.J. sort of confesses to the murders of Ron and Nicole you won't find it at Barnes & Noble. But cheer up- it will be available at Borders.
And finally:
That old slut Barbie is suing a porn site for advertising their own slut named Barbie.
There's plenty more News,
but no more News Jog.
We're done.
Former director of the CIA, George Tenet, is taking it on the chin in a new report just made public by the agency he used to direct. The Jog opines that Tenet deserves some blame for the sucker-punch that was 9/11, but we smell the faint odor of scapegoat emanating from this high-level grilling.
Another helicopter has gone down in Iraq and another 14 soldiers have been lost as a result.
Since everybody else is doing it, why not the prez? Bush Compares Iraq & Vietnam
Hurricane Dean is now a paltry Category One storm. But don't relax it could rebuild into a monster once again as it heads for its second Mexican landfall. The Jog couldn't help but notice the distress in the voices of the 24 hour news anchors when they were forced to announce that no one had been killed by its first Mexican landfall.
Bush wrapped up his summit with Mexican and Canadian leaders yesterday. Not much of substance got done. They did however agree to work together to keep harmful toys out of North America. Way to take a stand fellas!
Surprise, surprise- The US accuses Iran of lying about their nuclear intentions.
The Pentagon is ending one of those bugaboo programs civil libertarians hate so much. The military says they're retiring the Talon system because it was ineffective, not because of pressure from the ACLU. But the Jog suspects it was a little of both.
Is there anything scarier in terms of the US economy than these words? -["...a public relations blitz to shore up investor confidence."]- Well you can find those scary words and others in this article documenting the latest in the sub-prime debacle. The Jog says let the bad loans flush out of the system. Why reward bad speculation with government tinkering and bail outs?
The Space Shuttle has returned and everybody lived.
America's growing supply of fat kids has been found to house a growing supply of fat kids with hypertension!
If Michael Vick was thinking about going to Canada after incarceration he'd better think again. The CFL doesn't want him.
If you've uploaded your resume to monster.com you may be vulnerable to hackers who have stolen your info and are looking to blackmail you to keep that info safe.
Did you know Wal-Mart has a music download service that competes with iTunes? Well, they do and now they're making music available DRM-free.
MTV is ditching the Zune and climbing in bed with Real Player. The Zune? Hello? Anyone? Is thing on?
Just as we stopped laughing at Beyonce falling onstage. She ups the giggle factor with a Janet Jackson moment.
Amy Winehouse is backing out of her US tour due to exhaustion. For the uninitiated in pop star parlance- 'exhausted' means 'addicted.' Good luck on the rehab Amy.
A gun that went missing from Elvis' collection a few days ago was found in the toilet. Just like Elvis was.
The end is near! A ventriloquist has captured the heart of the nation and won the million dollars on America's Got Talent. The Jog is quick to point out that we may not have much talent after all if a ventriloquist is walking away with the big prize.
Those injured extras are threatening to sue Tom Cruise's Nazi movie.
This will throw the right-wing into a tizzy: Janeane Garofalo Joins The Cast of 24!
If you're looking for that book where O.J. sort of confesses to the murders of Ron and Nicole you won't find it at Barnes & Noble. But cheer up- it will be available at Borders.
And finally:
That old slut Barbie is suing a porn site for advertising their own slut named Barbie.
There's plenty more News,
but no more News Jog.
We're done.
News Jog 8/21/07
The television circus surrounding Michael Vick's plea deal on Monday served to further water-down that already tired news cliche known as Breaking News. In the real world the news should have been only designated as breaking the first time it was reported. Every report after that is dealing with news that has in fact already broken. But there it was scrolling at the bottom of the ESPN screen at 10p. during Monday Night Football: Breaking News- Vick To Plead Guilty. Really? Was it still breaking news a full seven hours after the initial press release from Vick's lawyers? Nothing means what it's supposed to mean anymore. The New Releases wall at Blockbuster is full of movies released more than a year ago and the word Virgin in porn is simply laughable. That said- the Michael Vick story dominated every form of media yesterday and the saga (not Breaking News) will continue to play out for quite some time. The Jog assumes the racial angle will die out rather quickly and that most of the discussion will center on what kind of future this moron should/will have. This writer wants a lifetime ban from the NFL- and this guy says Vick shouldn't even be incarcerated. How's that for diversity of opinion?
The body of the last known missing person associated with that bridge collapse in St. Paul/Minneapolis was retrieved from the Mississippi River. Now the clean up and rebuilding begins.
Hurricane Dean is still kicking ass as it pounds into Mexico a category 5 storm. Notice the bone thrown to Global Warming advocates for no good reason at the end of the story. Be on guard for words like 'suggests' and 'may' in the sentences that imply that Dean is the manifestation of all the voices in Al Gore's head.
The Jog sincerely thought this guy was already hanged. But we must have been wrong: Chemical Ali Trial Begins
Here's an airman everyone knew was dead because he hadn't been seen since WWII. But finally his frozen remains have been found and he'll be given a proper funeral. We're sure that makes him feel much better.
Bush is in Canada talkin' trade with the Canadian Prime Minister and the President of Mexico. There's a President of Mexico? Wow, he's doing a great job! That country just keeps getting better and better. Read this article to see that Canadian reporters hate Bush just as much as American reporters do.
The best video news in awhile comes out of Japan where a 165 people just barely got out of a Chinese Airlines jet moments before it exploded. This is the kind of scene you see in dozens of crappy movies out of Hollywood every year. But this was real life and it looked really cool!
A 64 year old congressman has been charged with assault and battery. Huh?
Leona Helmsley is dead and apparently still hated.
Skype is blaming Microsoft for its recent troubles.
The Shuttle's coming home. Fingers crossed.
Here's another lame excuse for fat people: Common Cold Could Cause Obesity
Germans already hate Tom Cruise because of his Scientology nonsense. Now they have more reasons to hate him: Accident On Cruise Nazi Film
Very soon Ryan Seacrest will be hosting everything: Seacrest To Host Emmys
Tympani please: WVU Nation's Number 1 Party School!
And finally:
The latest from the DVD HD platform war.
There's plenty more News,
but no more News Jog.
We're done.
The body of the last known missing person associated with that bridge collapse in St. Paul/Minneapolis was retrieved from the Mississippi River. Now the clean up and rebuilding begins.
Hurricane Dean is still kicking ass as it pounds into Mexico a category 5 storm. Notice the bone thrown to Global Warming advocates for no good reason at the end of the story. Be on guard for words like 'suggests' and 'may' in the sentences that imply that Dean is the manifestation of all the voices in Al Gore's head.
The Jog sincerely thought this guy was already hanged. But we must have been wrong: Chemical Ali Trial Begins
Here's an airman everyone knew was dead because he hadn't been seen since WWII. But finally his frozen remains have been found and he'll be given a proper funeral. We're sure that makes him feel much better.
Bush is in Canada talkin' trade with the Canadian Prime Minister and the President of Mexico. There's a President of Mexico? Wow, he's doing a great job! That country just keeps getting better and better. Read this article to see that Canadian reporters hate Bush just as much as American reporters do.
The best video news in awhile comes out of Japan where a 165 people just barely got out of a Chinese Airlines jet moments before it exploded. This is the kind of scene you see in dozens of crappy movies out of Hollywood every year. But this was real life and it looked really cool!
A 64 year old congressman has been charged with assault and battery. Huh?
Leona Helmsley is dead and apparently still hated.
Skype is blaming Microsoft for its recent troubles.
The Shuttle's coming home. Fingers crossed.
Here's another lame excuse for fat people: Common Cold Could Cause Obesity
Germans already hate Tom Cruise because of his Scientology nonsense. Now they have more reasons to hate him: Accident On Cruise Nazi Film
Very soon Ryan Seacrest will be hosting everything: Seacrest To Host Emmys
Tympani please: WVU Nation's Number 1 Party School!
And finally:
The latest from the DVD HD platform war.
There's plenty more News,
but no more News Jog.
We're done.
News Jog 8/20/07
The jog has noticed that these soap opera like tragedies that play out on 24 hour news almost always play by the same script. At first the company involved (airline, construction outfit, or mining operation) and the families of those killed or missing are on the same page. They hold hands and joint press conferences. They sing and pray and vow to do everything possible to make things right. Then the worm turns and the families blame the company. Such is the case in the mining tragedy that has riveted satellite trucks to Utah ground for the last couple of weeks. The families are angry that rescue efforts have been aborted in the wake of the deaths of three rescue workers a few days ago.
Perhaps it's our preoccupation with The Rat Pack that keeps us from believing that anything named Dean could be a destructive force. But Hurricane Dean ain't playing games. It's bearing down on the Cayman Islands and has forced NASA to bring home the astronauts early. Let's hope that gouge in the Shuttle belly is up to the rigors of reentry.
Karl Rove appeared on Meet The Press yesterday and the jog was surprised to witness an interview with a man it had never heard of. Where was the diabolical Wizard of Evil so lampooned in mainstream and underground media? We didn't agree with everything he had to say but he said it well and showed a command of facts surrounding issues that is exceedingly rare during these televised interrogations. The jog at one point thought to its self how interesting it is that Karl Rove's high intellect equals 'evil' in the current narrative, whereas Hillary Clinton's high intellect equals 'strong woman.' Not that anyone is interested in a true feel of the man in real time- but just in case you're the exception here's the video and here's the transcript. And here's Rove with a head full of hair and Dan Rather in 1972.
Somebody wake up Rosie and her conspiracy-minded weirdo friends. There was another 'strange' fire at Ground Zero. Just as an aside- Rosie and the weirdos are always saying that steel doesn't melt while going off on how Bush had something to do with the leveling of those buildings. But the Jog sincerely wonders- isn't steel forged in fire? Just a question.
The Jog has some advice if you're a celebrated illegal immigrant flaunting the law by making public statements of defiance while taking sanctuary in a Chicago church. Stay put. If you leave sanctuary to go to an immigration rally in Los Angeles you just might get busted and deported.
Is this even news anymore? Another Assassination in Iraq!
Is this even news anymore? Democrats Hold Another Debate! Just in case it is- here's the transcript.
The jog just loves protesters. They are all the same. It doesn't matter what they're protesting. They're all the same. Angry, uninformed, and sure that the world will end if they don't act up. Read this article and be amazed at the number of different entities being protested against by these global warming zealots in England. Everything from nuclear energy to carbon offsets. This group won't be happy until we're all riding bikes. Well, good luck to them. You never know- maybe they'll get what they want.
Pop starlet Lilly Allen doesn't like George W. Bush and suddenly she can't get a visa to enter the country to perform at the MTV Music Awards. Coincidence? Where's Rosie when you need her?
As if new moms don't have enough to worry about- now comes a warning that they may be delivering morphine overdoses with their boobs. Notice the term 'rare' actually means 'one' in this story.
The Jog thinks it appropriate that we get 'em hooked while breast-feeding. Start 'em young. We're all on painkillers now.
Superbad was your box office winner this past weekend.
Have you heard? High School Musical 2 was/is the biggest thing in television history. Or something like that.
A 21 year old guy in Australia recorded The Simpsons movie with his cell phone at a local cinema and promptly uploaded it to a file sharing site. A worldwide law enforcement effort culminated in his arrest over the weekend and he could face up to five years in jail for his heinous crime. Meanwhile, over 3,000 downloads of the film have already been made and word is that it only sucks a little bit more in the medium of cell phone than it did on the big screen.
Boston performed in Boston in honor of the now dead-from-suicide-ex-lead-singer of Boston.
And finally:
The latest dispatch from Britney's final days on earth.
There's plenty more News,
but no more News Jog.
We're done.
Perhaps it's our preoccupation with The Rat Pack that keeps us from believing that anything named Dean could be a destructive force. But Hurricane Dean ain't playing games. It's bearing down on the Cayman Islands and has forced NASA to bring home the astronauts early. Let's hope that gouge in the Shuttle belly is up to the rigors of reentry.
Karl Rove appeared on Meet The Press yesterday and the jog was surprised to witness an interview with a man it had never heard of. Where was the diabolical Wizard of Evil so lampooned in mainstream and underground media? We didn't agree with everything he had to say but he said it well and showed a command of facts surrounding issues that is exceedingly rare during these televised interrogations. The jog at one point thought to its self how interesting it is that Karl Rove's high intellect equals 'evil' in the current narrative, whereas Hillary Clinton's high intellect equals 'strong woman.' Not that anyone is interested in a true feel of the man in real time- but just in case you're the exception here's the video and here's the transcript. And here's Rove with a head full of hair and Dan Rather in 1972.
Somebody wake up Rosie and her conspiracy-minded weirdo friends. There was another 'strange' fire at Ground Zero. Just as an aside- Rosie and the weirdos are always saying that steel doesn't melt while going off on how Bush had something to do with the leveling of those buildings. But the Jog sincerely wonders- isn't steel forged in fire? Just a question.
The Jog has some advice if you're a celebrated illegal immigrant flaunting the law by making public statements of defiance while taking sanctuary in a Chicago church. Stay put. If you leave sanctuary to go to an immigration rally in Los Angeles you just might get busted and deported.
Is this even news anymore? Another Assassination in Iraq!
Is this even news anymore? Democrats Hold Another Debate! Just in case it is- here's the transcript.
The jog just loves protesters. They are all the same. It doesn't matter what they're protesting. They're all the same. Angry, uninformed, and sure that the world will end if they don't act up. Read this article and be amazed at the number of different entities being protested against by these global warming zealots in England. Everything from nuclear energy to carbon offsets. This group won't be happy until we're all riding bikes. Well, good luck to them. You never know- maybe they'll get what they want.
Pop starlet Lilly Allen doesn't like George W. Bush and suddenly she can't get a visa to enter the country to perform at the MTV Music Awards. Coincidence? Where's Rosie when you need her?
As if new moms don't have enough to worry about- now comes a warning that they may be delivering morphine overdoses with their boobs. Notice the term 'rare' actually means 'one' in this story.
The Jog thinks it appropriate that we get 'em hooked while breast-feeding. Start 'em young. We're all on painkillers now.
Superbad was your box office winner this past weekend.
Have you heard? High School Musical 2 was/is the biggest thing in television history. Or something like that.
A 21 year old guy in Australia recorded The Simpsons movie with his cell phone at a local cinema and promptly uploaded it to a file sharing site. A worldwide law enforcement effort culminated in his arrest over the weekend and he could face up to five years in jail for his heinous crime. Meanwhile, over 3,000 downloads of the film have already been made and word is that it only sucks a little bit more in the medium of cell phone than it did on the big screen.
Boston performed in Boston in honor of the now dead-from-suicide-ex-lead-singer of Boston.
And finally:
The latest dispatch from Britney's final days on earth.
There's plenty more News,
but no more News Jog.
We're done.
News Jog 8/17/07
The jog doesn't know whether it's ironic or just plain stupid that three rescue workers just died trying to save six miners who are probably already dead themselves in Utah.
We've heard all week that Mike Vick had until 9a. on Friday to accept a deal from the prosecution. But 9a. came and went with no word from the former high flyin' Falcon. The jog suspects a deal will be copped by early afternoon.
Excuse our glib attitude but we find it very difficult to take a hurricane named Dean seriously.
The once designated 'enemy combatant' Jose Padilla was found guilty by a jury of his peers. If you want to know if this is good for the Bush administration just ask a Republican, he'll say yes. If you ask a Democrat she'll say no.
The once crazy-hot, now disappointingly hefty presidential daughter Jenna Bush is gettin' hitched.
The press insists upon dealing with the Karl Rove legacy as if the man is some sort of Shakespearian or mythic character. He's not. He's just a guy who used to be good at his job.
Russia and China are gettin' friendly. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
A wild ride on Wall Street Thursday was brought on by bad news from Countrywide Financial, yet another mortgage outfit that forgot how to properly give out loans. But don't worry folks here comes the teat of government to help out frightened traders.
The jog has always asserted that global warming, as it has been explained to the public, is a complete sham. Here's yet more evidence that the global warming phenomenon is not real. Check out the amount of bending over backwards to not discredit the alarmists that takes place at the end of the article submitted here: Climate Not Slowing Gulf Stream
That corrupt Ref says he's sorry. But some say there are actually worse Refs in the NBA.
Tobacco has been linked to cancer. In case you didn't know.
If you use Skype to make telephone calls then you haven't been making many calls lately- 'cos Skype went down!
More fans get to watch Beckham ride the bench.
A woman gave birth to identical quadruplets. Yes- she's exhausted.
Celebrate! Celebrate! It's been 25 years since music was reduced to zeros and ones. The CD is 25 years old!
Do you like the Superbad? Here's a review.
The impossible has happened. The Super Bowl pre-game just got worse: Super Bowl Seacrest
There's plenty more news-
but no more New Jog.
We've heard all week that Mike Vick had until 9a. on Friday to accept a deal from the prosecution. But 9a. came and went with no word from the former high flyin' Falcon. The jog suspects a deal will be copped by early afternoon.
Excuse our glib attitude but we find it very difficult to take a hurricane named Dean seriously.
The once designated 'enemy combatant' Jose Padilla was found guilty by a jury of his peers. If you want to know if this is good for the Bush administration just ask a Republican, he'll say yes. If you ask a Democrat she'll say no.
The once crazy-hot, now disappointingly hefty presidential daughter Jenna Bush is gettin' hitched.
The press insists upon dealing with the Karl Rove legacy as if the man is some sort of Shakespearian or mythic character. He's not. He's just a guy who used to be good at his job.
Russia and China are gettin' friendly. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
A wild ride on Wall Street Thursday was brought on by bad news from Countrywide Financial, yet another mortgage outfit that forgot how to properly give out loans. But don't worry folks here comes the teat of government to help out frightened traders.
The jog has always asserted that global warming, as it has been explained to the public, is a complete sham. Here's yet more evidence that the global warming phenomenon is not real. Check out the amount of bending over backwards to not discredit the alarmists that takes place at the end of the article submitted here: Climate Not Slowing Gulf Stream
That corrupt Ref says he's sorry. But some say there are actually worse Refs in the NBA.
Tobacco has been linked to cancer. In case you didn't know.
If you use Skype to make telephone calls then you haven't been making many calls lately- 'cos Skype went down!
More fans get to watch Beckham ride the bench.
A woman gave birth to identical quadruplets. Yes- she's exhausted.
Celebrate! Celebrate! It's been 25 years since music was reduced to zeros and ones. The CD is 25 years old!
Do you like the Superbad? Here's a review.
The impossible has happened. The Super Bowl pre-game just got worse: Super Bowl Seacrest
There's plenty more news-
but no more New Jog.
News Jog 8/16/07
The Jog is tempted to suspect that most of the hundreds dead in the Peruvian earthquake that hit last night will turn out to be disproportionately poor. Peru has two very distinct classes- very poor and very rich with not much in between. This usually means that the rich have homes that will hang in there through a quake, while the dilapidation that surrounds the lower class collapses upon them. That being said- it's early on in this story and it was a 7.9 on the Richter Scale which is enough to shake well built homes off their foundations. But we won't be surprised to find the dead are mostly poor at the end of the day.
Wake up the Global Warming alarmists! We've got our first big tempest of the season. Ladies and gentleman, please welcome Hurricane Dean...
Who needs Al-Qaeda? More and more U.S. soldiers are killing themselves.
There is still some, but not much, hope for the trapped miners in Utah.
The Jog is mindful that too many bad guys perched upon the world stage are hysterically compared to Hitler. Hitler was a uniquely evil man and that legacy shouldn't be watered down by comparing every tin-pot dictator with der Fuhrer- so we'll stray delicately here and simply point out that Hugo Chavez's latest power grab looks a lot like the head Nazi's oft-forgotten early works.
Please some journalist with the power to get the interview just has to ask- what Sean Penn thinks of Chavez now? Does he really think Hugo should be President-for-life? Please someone ask the question.
Again the Jog will proceed with caution- but isn't afraid to publicly suspect that this clearing from every store shelf and home nursery of 'dangerous' toys made in China may just be a wee bit of an overreaction. But don't hold us to that. This is China were talking about. The source of every flu virus, the next worldwide pandemic- and most recently, dog food that kills dogs. This strange commie/capitalist hybrid may be reaching its breaking point.
That gambling NBA Ref plead guilty to the charges facing him. Hindsight is 20/20 but the Jog can't help but notice what a jerk the guy appears to be in the B-Roll footage that accompanies every TV story about this case. He just looks like a bully.
Vick-Tock, Vick-Tock, Vick-Tock
Ever change a Wikipedia entry just to make yourself look better? Well, now your Busted!
In the age of ubiquitous internet porn where gynecology is always only a few clicks away- does anyone still care about the Miss America Pageant? Apparently not. The once-revered ass-showcase has changed channels yet again.
We're getting antsy here at Jog Central. Something about this Shuttle mission doesn't feel right:NASA 'Mulling Over' Repairs
The coolest thing in the universe today: Shooting Bullet Star
Elvis is still dead and people are still excited about it. For its part- the Jog doesn't understand the persistent worldwide fan mania around this guy. We get 1956- but who cares after that?
Don Imus, the man fired for no good reason- is now being sued for no good reason.
The Spector trial just gets curioser and curiouser.
The words perverts have been waiting years to hear: Olsen Twin In Lesbo Scene
And while we're on perverts and lesbo scenes- we leave you once again with the latest from Britney's last days on earth: Spears Into Girl-Girl Romps!
So much News- So little Time.
That's the News Jog.
Wake up the Global Warming alarmists! We've got our first big tempest of the season. Ladies and gentleman, please welcome Hurricane Dean...
Who needs Al-Qaeda? More and more U.S. soldiers are killing themselves.
There is still some, but not much, hope for the trapped miners in Utah.
The Jog is mindful that too many bad guys perched upon the world stage are hysterically compared to Hitler. Hitler was a uniquely evil man and that legacy shouldn't be watered down by comparing every tin-pot dictator with der Fuhrer- so we'll stray delicately here and simply point out that Hugo Chavez's latest power grab looks a lot like the head Nazi's oft-forgotten early works.
Please some journalist with the power to get the interview just has to ask- what Sean Penn thinks of Chavez now? Does he really think Hugo should be President-for-life? Please someone ask the question.
Again the Jog will proceed with caution- but isn't afraid to publicly suspect that this clearing from every store shelf and home nursery of 'dangerous' toys made in China may just be a wee bit of an overreaction. But don't hold us to that. This is China were talking about. The source of every flu virus, the next worldwide pandemic- and most recently, dog food that kills dogs. This strange commie/capitalist hybrid may be reaching its breaking point.
That gambling NBA Ref plead guilty to the charges facing him. Hindsight is 20/20 but the Jog can't help but notice what a jerk the guy appears to be in the B-Roll footage that accompanies every TV story about this case. He just looks like a bully.
Vick-Tock, Vick-Tock, Vick-Tock
Ever change a Wikipedia entry just to make yourself look better? Well, now your Busted!
In the age of ubiquitous internet porn where gynecology is always only a few clicks away- does anyone still care about the Miss America Pageant? Apparently not. The once-revered ass-showcase has changed channels yet again.
We're getting antsy here at Jog Central. Something about this Shuttle mission doesn't feel right:NASA 'Mulling Over' Repairs
The coolest thing in the universe today: Shooting Bullet Star
Elvis is still dead and people are still excited about it. For its part- the Jog doesn't understand the persistent worldwide fan mania around this guy. We get 1956- but who cares after that?
Don Imus, the man fired for no good reason- is now being sued for no good reason.
The Spector trial just gets curioser and curiouser.
The words perverts have been waiting years to hear: Olsen Twin In Lesbo Scene
And while we're on perverts and lesbo scenes- we leave you once again with the latest from Britney's last days on earth: Spears Into Girl-Girl Romps!
So much News- So little Time.
That's the News Jog.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
