News Jog 9/13/07

The Jog is beginning to wonder which is more depressing- the war at home or the war in Iraq? The president has decided for some reason to step on the good work done by General Patraeus this week and give a prime time speech tonight outlining his next steps in Baghdad. Meanwhile the Democrats have determined the war has already been lost and there is no such thing as a winning strategy at this point. Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid now refers to this as Bush's war or the Republican's war- as if it's more important to assess blame than prosecute a good outcome. Listen closely and you'll hear the intelligentsia saying that it is impossible to win this thing. Once that position has been taken it is not possible to refute. Anyone who says they have a plan for victory is dismissed as being a boob for even considering the concept of victory to begin with. The mainstream press is heavily invested in failure and highlights every negative with glee while hardcore Leftists are becoming convinced that the Democrats are mere dupes for the administration because they haven't brought the war to a complete end yet. So the circular debate continues with both sides more invested in proving they're right than actually securing the future of the country. The Jog is no glassy-eyed optimist seeing nothing but good in the Iraq situation. The whole thing was allowed to creep into anarchy under Rumsfeld's watch but it would be nice if the concept of victory could make a bit of a comeback on the national stage. John McCain is talking about it but no one likes him anymore. The Jog accepts the trials and tribulations of the current situation in Iraq but it also understands that there is no such thing as withdrawal or redeployment or any of the other terms of art being bandied about. There is only Victory or Defeat. To leave Iraq is to be defeated plain and simple. We look forward to an honest debate where Barack and Hillary explain to the American people why being defeated in Iraq is a good thing for the future of this country. Maybe it is. Maybe there's a good case to be made that defeat is a good thing. But let's not waste our time with talk of redeployment. Tell us why defeat is a good thing. Tell us why defeat will make us stronger. Stop telling us what the polls tell you we want to hear.

Related Video:
Hillary Disses Patraeus
Dennis Kucinich in Syria
Patraeus on Iran in Iraq
Patraeus Responds to Move On Ad

Here's a tragic story that is bound to become fodder for a new conspiracy theory:
Two War Critic Soldiers Killed in Iraq

Vladimir Putin becomes more dangerous by the day. Now he's fired his cabinet in a move that will likely solidify his power in Russia for years to come- and he just detonated the largest non-nuclear bomb in the history of the world. Better keep an eye on this dude.

Yesterday the Japanese Prime Minister resigned- today he's in the hospital with Lindsay Lohan like symptoms. He's exhausted.

The Rosie story just keeps getting stranger and stranger:
O'Donnell Broke Her Own Bones!

Deadly Toy Update:
Mattel CEO Pledges to Improve Toy Safety
China Says Toys in Latest Recall Safe

Scotland Yard is now saying that Portugeese authorities turned them away when they offered to help in the case of that couple who either killed or misplaced their child while in Portugal.

Another reason to be happy you don't live in Indonesia:
Indonesia Rattled by Earthquakes

Vermont took automobiles to court and Vermont won.

Eateries took calories to court and eateries won.

Understatement of the day: Experts Doubt Steve Fossett Still Alive

But wait! Maybe the geeks have found him.

If Buffalo Bills tight-end Kevin Everett ever walks again he can thank an experimental cooling procedure that was administered to him while en route from the playing field to the hospital.

The Genius/Dick Patriots coach Bill Belichick sort of apologized for cheating while beating the hell out of the New York Jets- but says he won't comment further until the League decides his fate. What should that fate be? The Jog believes he should be suspended for multiple games if only to send a strong message to the rest of the league. It's true that stealing signs has been a part of the history of the game- but technology makes an escalating type of spying possible now. As cameras get smaller and internet communications more prevalent only severe penalties for those caught will keep the game fundamentally honest. Ex-Broncos/Giants/Falcons coach Dan Reeves is old-school and says this form of cheating can't be tolerated.

Huricane Humberto smacks up Texas.

West Nile Update

Foot and Mouth Update

Wanna read an interview with a dead parrot?
An Interview with Alex, the African Grey Parrot

What in the hell killed off the Neanderthals? The Jog, like scientists, doesn't really know. We're just glad they're not around anymore. It's too crowded as it is.

Wikipedia just published its 2-millionth article. According to Jog math that would correlate to mean they've just published what must be at least their 50-millionth lie. But hey, we dig the wiki. The 2-millionth article is about a Spanish TV show and if you click right here you'll see it.

The Canadians aren't very keen on Google's street maps:
Google shouldn't goggle

Do you suffer from touchpad fatigue? Well Microsoft's new mouse is coming to the rescue.

Looking for a review of the new Nano? Sure you are:
Apple's Terrific Video iPod Nano

The coolest thing in the universe today is:
Planet Survives Star's Expansion

The folks who brought you 'Thirtysomething' on TV are now bringing a show called 'Quarterlife' to MySpace. If it's half as navel-gazing and boring as 'Thirtysomething' it won't get an audience no matter the medium it appears on.

One of the contestants on the reality show Top Chef was recently the victim of an anti-gay attack. So was her sister and she's not even gay.

Did you know Jodie Foster was an atheist? We didn't:
Deep in Thought with Jodie Foster

People are still still chatting it up about that girl from High School Musical and the nude picture that's been floating around the net.

That author who pissed off Oprah when she found out his memoir 'A Million Little Pieces' was full of a million big lies has just nabbed a publisher for his new book. He's at least admitting this one is a work of fiction. No word on whether Oprah plans to read it.

The latest from BritneyLand:
Britney Fiasco Good News for MTV Ratings
Britney Cried Over VMAs Performance
Spears’s Awards Fiasco Stirs Speculation About Her Future
Britney Spears: Top 5 Vegas 'Britastrophes'

If you bought tickets to the upcoming White Stripes U.S. tour it's time to look into a refund. Due to Meg White's 'acute anxiety', whatever that means, the tour has been cancelled.

Kanye-Fiddy Update: Kanye Thrashes 50 Cent in First-Day Sales Race

The Phil Spector jury deliberated for a third day with no verdict. Before being sent home they were admonished by the judge not to watch a segment on Dateline NBC that was slated to feature a story on the case later that night. Of special interest is the fact that one of the jurors is a producer for Dateline NBC. The Jog smells grounds for appeal.

Pull out the black t-shirts! Led Zeppelin will reunite for one show only.

And finally:
Did you know a Led Zeppelin roller coaster is being constructed in South Carolina? We didn't.

There's plenty more News,
but there's no more News Jog.
We're done.