News Jog 9/10/07

The Jog begins the week with analyses of two recent appearances on the world stage that met with resoundingly bad reviews. Both Osama bin Laden and Britney Spears left fans and critics alike stunned with their amateur attempts to reclaim fading past glory. Proving once again that we have our priorities straight here at Jog Central we'll start with the mentally challenged pop tart's startlingly flat comeback.

To watch Britney strutting her once-desired stuff across the stage of MTV's Video Music Awards last night was to witness the end of the end for the battered diva. If you missed it- here's the video. The Jog has never been a fan of the 'lip-sync your song while dancing with a thousand other people' style of performance so popular in today's music scene. But Britney used to be good at it. Last night she looked like a 12 year old girl practicing the moves of her favorite singers while lip-syncing songs in her bedroom. It was obvious her whole attention was devoted to simply getting through it without messing up. Even though she did mess up- if you consider forgetting to move your lips to a lip-sync, messing up. The shots of her fellow entertainers in the audience said it all. It was just sad. Britney has fallen so far she no longer has the ability to be the vapid pop star we once loved. Now she's a hollow, vapid pop star- and that's simply unappealing. At least there was some interesting action during the awards ceremony. Kid Rock punched Tommy Lee and Foo Fighter's Dave Grohl was attached to a beer bong all night.

Osama bin Laden's videotape message- played about as well as Britney's awkward dance moves on MTV. The once healthy and truly scary planetary villain came across as a guy who has the power to put out videotapes every few years- and that's about it. The 'weird beard' with an even weirder beard, thanks to a spiffy new dye job, seemed unfocused and rambling. He hit upon the usual things- American decadence, American imperialism... blah, blah, blah. But did anyone really expect him to weigh in on America's current sub-prime mortgage crisis- or float his conspiracy theories about Vietnam and JFK? He's clearly off message and somewhat delusional. Reaction to the latest tape has been the same from both government officials and reporters- it sucked. An Al-Qaeda spokesman speaking anonymously with Jog editors said- 'Hey, at least he did better than Britney.' A conclusion with which the Jog is sadly forced to agree.

Exactly where is bin Laden? Osama is in Chitral: US experts

Meanwhile- today's the day General David Patraeus will appear before congress to give his report on the state of the surge in Iraq. He's expected to say the military efforts are showing progress even if the political process they are intended to protect has ground down to a halt. Look for him to ask for a bit more time while floating the idea of withdrawing a few troops before Christmas. The Jog wonders if political considerations back home are beginning to work their way into battlefield plans in Iraq. This would be a grave mistake. The military should only concern themselves with winning, not appeasing politicians and the American public with happy talk.

Update 3:36p- Petraeus Says U.S. Troop Levels Can Be Cut

Good news for the Left! The Patriot Act may be in some serious trouble.

In Pakistan- Musharraf has Sharif deported. Now who's the Sheriff?

Did you know there are Nazis in Israel? Neither did we. Who'da thunk?

The Democrats held a Spanish language presidential debate in English even though one candidate, Bill Richardson, speaks fluent Spanish. The Jog finds it interesting that the Dem candidates have broken new ground this election cycle by debating on You Tube, the Logo Network, and now Univision- but they refuse to debate on Fox News. Interesting...

Senator 'stop saying I'm gay' Craig will attempt to legally withdraw his guilty plea to charges of lewd behavior in a Minneapolis airport today. Senator Arlen Specter is pissing off everybody by standing up for his Republican colleague. The Jog is intrigued with the notion that a 'family values' Republican senator may be the best thing to ever happen to gay men who like to solicit sex in bathrooms and parks throughout the nation. If Specter is right and a United States senator can beat these charges on the grounds of entrapment- it could spell the end of the use of these tactics by police in the future. Strange bedfellows indeed.

Be assured the Jog does everything it can to avoid the missing persons stories that get the 24 hour news networks so jazzed up on a daily basis- but this one has gotten too big to ignore: McCanns Fly Home to Fight Their Case

Rescue workers are finding lots of old wreckage in the desert but still no sign of that millionaire adventurer balloon guy.

Al Gore can relax: Gabrielle Packs Little Punch for N.C.

More evidence that Al Gore is wrong: Hurricane Scientists Flub Forecasts, Surprised by El Nino

A story about whale hunting in 2007? Yet another barbaric practice being defended as an important cultural aspect of some backward tribe in some backward region. The Jog has an idea for the Makah Tribal Council: change your idiotic culture!

West Nile Update: A Mosquito Bites in Brooklyn

The FDA decided a while back to put black box warnings on the side of all anti-depressant pill bottles to warn parents of a possible connection between the prescriptions and a tendency for suicidal thoughts in the minds of the teenagers using them. So parents got worried, doctors stopped prescribing the drugs- and now the teen suicide rate has exploded. Perhaps because of not being treated with the proper drugs. It occurs to the Jog that suicidal thoughts might already have been bouncing around the minds of the teens initially studied to come up with the suicide/drug connection in the first place. After all, they were studying kids who were already being treated for mental illness. Let's get something straight- Teens+Mental Illness=Suicidal Thoughts with or without drugs. The initial conclusions were obviously tainted and flawed. Way to go FDA!

Apparently doctors don't know much about the over the counter health supplements their patients are using. Is that important? We don't know. But we do know a waste of time and energy when we see it: Theater Classes Help Docs' Bedside Manners

Did you know Red Roof Inns was owned by the French? Well, it was- but now they've sold out.

Apple would like to offer 99-cent TV downloads.

Apple might like to own a chunk of the current TV bandwidth.

Are you looking for an MP3 player that dances around with flashing lights to the beat of your favorite songs? Today's your lucky day: Sony Shows New Rolling Music Player

The Jog has long thought HD or High Definition radio to be a joke. Here's a story that shows it to be a joke with one new, very cool feature.

The Jog is a big fan of the Buffalo Bills and the Jog has been laughed at often for it (what with the loss of four Super Bowls in a row)- but every real football fan is holding their breath and hoping for the best for Kevin Everett : Bills' Everett Undergoes Spinal Surgery. Click here for video of the life changing hit.

Surprise, surprise: Federer Wins US Open

Russel Crowe's western topped the weekend box office.

The jurors in the Phil Spector murder trial begin deliberations today. The Jog predicts he doesn't stand a snowball's chance in hell of being found not guilty.

'Dick in a Box' wins an Emmy! Huh?

And finally:
That sexy girl from High School Musical may have more self-made nude photos floating around.

There's plenty more News,
but there is no more News Jog.
We're done.