News Jog 8/31/07

The Jog is happy to report that it has a mortgage that gets paid on time every month. The Jog is also happy to report that, in fact, most homeowners in this country do exactly the same. The Jog is unhappy to report that the few who don't, and the lending institutions that allowed them into the game have so distorted the market that a government bailout has become inevitable. With the Fed Chairman now in a position that demands he 'fix' every correction the market makes on its own- the whole thing has become something akin to a dog chasing its own tail. Every time the business class makes idiotic mistakes the Fed adjusts this or that to make it all go away- which in turn makes it more likely that the same folks will make idiotic choices again in the future knowing that the Fed will step in again if anyone starts losing too much money. The reason this country is in the mortgage crisis it's in right now is because lenders changed the rules for lending and began handing hefty mortgages to individuals who had not demonstrated a history of personal economic competence. The lenders didn't care because the whole system had been turned into a Ponzi scheme that kept running well so long as new money and multi-year commitments kept pouring in. Now the Ponzi scheme has crashed, as they all eventually do, except this scheme of bad money was held afloat by good money and good investments that are now in danger of being brought down as well. Because many in this new class of house-poor are default Democrats- and because the Republicans want to be loved in Nov. '08 President Bush will announce a sub-prime solution today that will prop up the homeowners that can no longer afford their homes with government subsidies, etc. So what lesson is learned by the predatory lenders and the ignorant homeowners? Do it again if you get the chance. After all, the government will be there to bail you out if things get too uncomfortable. The Jog believes any actions should be designed to protect the good money and good investments that are being threatened by the breadth of this problem- and let the bad money flush out of the system. If you're allowed to continually play with fire and you don't get burnt- you'll continue to play with fire. It's that simple.

After antsy Republicans began showing annoyance at his months-long Hamlet act Fred Thompson's people say Fred Thompson is done with the tease and is running for President. The Jog sees Thompson as a good actor who would make a bad president. His record in the Senate says he's all talk with no follow through. The man has absolutely nothing to show for his time in the Senate. The Jog also thinks he's exactly the type of Republican that can be beaten by Hillary Clinton.

Virginia Senator John Warner is well-respected, he's had sex with Elizabeth Taylor, and he's 80. The Republicans would like him to run for another six year term so they can lock down his seat as they search for a majority in the next election. He's been ambivalent about another run and will hold a press conference today to announce whether he will or won't seek another term.

Update 5:16pm: Veteran Republican to Stand Down

Iowa Senator Larry Craig is losing everyone's respect, he has sex with strange men in bathrooms, and he wants you to know he isn't gay. The Republicans would like to see him step down immediately. Craig says he wants to fight the scurrilous accusation against him even though he's already pleaded guilty to the accusation itself. Now the police have released an audio tape of Senator 'Wide Stance' being interrogated just after being busted for engaging in lewd acts in an airport bathroom- wherein he sounds just like a man trying to lie himself out of an embarrassing situation. All of his Senate colleagues want Craig to step down but this writer says he should fight, if only to provide more entertainment for us when it goes to court. The Jog was surprised to find that there is much disagreement in the editorial rooms of the mainstream gay press. This gay writer thinks it's kinda sad. This gay writer thinks the senator is beneath contempt. The Jog suspects that both are right.

Update 9:58am: GOP Activists Say Craig May Resign

The Bush administration may not have been able to find WMD's in Iraq- but some were found yesterday at the U.N. causing a major scare in NYC. Ah- the U.N., always so efficient... always so reliable.

The GAO is putting out a report on progress in Iraq that isn't sitting well with the Bush administration or the brass at the Pentagon.

Katie Couric is in Iraq looking for answers and ratings. The Jog's assuming she'll find neither. The Jog looks up to Katie as a role model. We'd like to make several million dollars to fail night after night after night. We're doing that right now for free.

The Taliban has finally freed the remaining living South Korean hostages and just as the Jog predicted leaders of the outlaw group are promising to take more hostages in the future. Why? They took hostages and they got what they wanted. Just as we pointed out earlier in the sub prime story- if you reward bad behavior, you get more bad behavior.

Need an example? Taliban Insurgents Ambush Pakistan Military Convoy

That deal between Pakistani strongman Pervez Musharaff and Prime Minister wannabe Benazir Bhutto is on the rocks: Musharraf Hedges on His Military Post

The failure of a pact between Musharaff and Bhutto is opening the way for the return of the guy Musharaff overthrew in a bloodless coup a few years back: Nawaz Sharif's star rises

Surprise, surprise- Iran is still lying about its nuclear program.

Princess Di died ten years ago today. And to the Jog's amazement lots of people still care about that.

If Alberto Gonzalez thought retiring and going back to Texas was enough to get him off the hook. He needs to think again: DOJ Investigating Gonzales Testimony

Speaking of Texas- this almost never happens: Texas Governor Commutes Death Sentence in Rare Act

Democrats are falling all over themselves to give up all campaign contributions raised by that guy who turned out to be a fugitive. The Jog mentioned Ponzi schemes earlier but we love the fact that the fugitive in question, Norman Hsu, was busted for a Ponzi scheme that involved the reselling of latex gloves. It just sounds funny.

The Jog has maintained for some time that the illegal immigration problem could be solved overnight if the government started busting business owners who knowingly employ them. If you put four or five millionaires behind bars you wouldn't need a fence or new legislation to get the job done. Sure- a head of lettuce might wind up costing ten dollars- but if you want to solve illegal immigration it's easily solvable: Raid Rounds Up Immigrants at Chicken plant

If you live in California get ready for the coming brown and blackouts: California Declares 'Stage 1' Power Emergency

Do you like your spinach E.coli free? Sure you do.

Surprised that real estate mogul Leona Helmsley left $12 million to her stupid lapdog? Apparently it's not so surprising: More People Leaving Money to Their Pets

That astronaut lady with the diapers and the pepper spray and the 80's hair has been allowed to remove her GPS ankle bracelet.

West Nile Virus Update: Pelicans are Dying!

If you've given your personal info to USAJobs.gov, the official job search site for the federal government, that info may have been compromised.

Earthlink thought they could avoid going broke by providing the wherewithal for large cities to provide their residents with free access to Wi-Fi. Well, it turns out there still is no such thing as a free lunch and the whole scheme is collapsing. Look for Earthlink to be out of business soon.

This sportswriter says Mike Vick will and should play in the NFL again.

The U.S. is still kicking the world's ass in basketball.

It looks like NASCAR bad boy Tony Stewart will be driving a Toyota next year.

Hulk Hogan's idiot son boasted about speeding in a magazine interview not long before his recent car crash. Friends and family of the friend he critically injured in that crash held a vigil for him last night. The Jog wants to know if all this drama is being caught on tape for that stupid Ozzy wannabe reality show the Hogan family stars in? We're guessing this is way to real for 'reality' TV.

Hey kids, cheer up: 'Family Guy' Coming Soon to an Xbox Near You

If you were silly enough to download tunes from Sony's Connect music store you're probably screwed.

Hurray! Teens can now add copyrighted music to the short videos they make of themselves slapping each other silly and engaging in other mindless 'Jackjass' style pranks: YouTube to Pay Royalties to Songwriters

This writer doubts whether the iPhone has really been unlocked.

How unpopular is the PlayStation 3? So unpopular that Sony is releasing a new PS2 this Christmas.

The coolest thing in the universe today: Mysterious Solar Ripples Detected

The coolest thing in the teeny-weeny parts of the universe today: Two IBM Discoveries Add Promise for Nano-Computing

The Jog thought the whole Letterman-Oprah feud had long since been put to bed. But apparently not: Dave and Oprah Keep Up Appearances

What band is playing at your homecoming? Indiana University snagged Bob Dylan & Elvis Costello.

Amy Winehouse continues her public withdrawal while she continues to go through drug withdrawal.

Owen Wilson's friends are saying a recent major spike in his drug use led to his suicide attempt. You know things are hardcore when Woody Harrelson tries to intervene.

The Jog is one of the only entities left that understands that the whole Global Warming scare is a pile of B.S. So it warms the cockles of our hearts to see that Leo DiCaprio's new 'sky is falling' film "11th Hour" is getting bad reviews from people who want to like it. Even one of the founders of Greenpeace says it's crap.

Rob Zombie's dribbling out some info about his remake of the classic horror film "Halloween".

It turns out that Barnes & Noble will sell the new O.J. book after all. Blood money is still money- and it's hard to resist.

For those interested in these things- Scary Spice will be competing on the next season of 'Dancing with the Stars.'

And finally:
The latest dispatch from Britney's last days on earth: Britney - I'm Gonna Shock the World, Y'all!

There's plenty more News,
but no more News Jog.
We're done, Y'all!